Hard family times

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:06 pm

kinghooter00 wrote:lol, yeah. And took something else with love too.

Nude pix

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:40 pm

no no.

Iccarra · Post by **Iccarra** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:17 pm

I hope that things are and continute to improve for all of you. As far as adopting her child from a previous relationship goes...well I don't know how it is personally, however from what you have actually posted it sounds similar to the situations with my sister & my aunt as well. They each had a child from a previous relationship or marriage and the father decided he did not want to be one. They each eventually got remarried and their husbands adopted those children as their own. (They are both still married, btw.) I don't think it has much at all to do with the last name...it has to do with the fact that, as grown men, they chose to take full responsibility for those children no matter what happened to the marriage in the long run. My cousin is in her 20's now and her 'biological' father has had some contact with her but she doesn't feel any real connection to him at this point. All that aside...adopting or not adopting is your choice to make regardless of what anyone else thinks or says and either way just being there as a caring adult in her life is what matters most...imho.

Diekan · Post by **Diekan** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 4:49 pm

Only a moron would put their financial future in jeapordy by adopting a child that isn't theirs.

Why does it take changing the child's last name to prove that the man is "doing the right thing" and taking responsibility for the child?

I don't care how solid the relationship looks... all it takes is for her to wake up one day and decide she wants to move on and you're [the man] fucked. You can kiss an ass load of money EACH month good bye. And for what? For a child you didn't father just to prove to her that you 'really love' the child? That's a bunch of bullshit. A man is quite capable of loving her child as his own without having to change the kid's last name.

This is just another example of women trying to get you men by the balls. Do NOT fall for it. I'm telling you again... if you're dating and eventually marry a single mom who pushes you to adopt her child - you're well on your way to distaster.

If I married a single mother (which I wouldn't because 99% of them are fucked in the head) I don't need to adopt the kid to add he/she to my insurance. I don't need to adopt the kid to show up to soccor games and raise the child right.

Oh, yeah I said 99% of single mothers are fucked in the head - because they are. I've dated... ohh 5 single mothers. And I can tell you... each and every single of them played more games than Parker Brothers. Game after game... it was such a hassle I swore them off completely. I work with a single mom who, day in and day out, bitches about finding a man. She finds 'em... plays mind games with them for about two weeks, until they get tired of it and boot her to the curb, then she's back at it - bitching and complaining.

Sure, there might be some down to earth and "real" single mothers out there who just got the short end of the stick... but chances are.... they're going to come with an ASS of emotional and other types of bagage that you (as a man) don't have to put up with.

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:37 pm

Diekan wrote:Sure, there might be some down to earth and "real" single mothers out there who just got the short end of the stick... but chances are.... they're going to come with an ASS of emotional and other types of bagage that you (as a man) don't have to put up with.

only logical thing you said. The rest is just you rattling off your misfortunes with women in general. Sorry.

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:39 pm

off topic though. That pic you have on your gallery, Dieken, of that chick on the porch... very nice. :hiphop:

Markarado · Post by **Markarado** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:45 am

Dieken, don't you think it's possible that a man can fall in love with both a woman and her child?

There are many cases of men being taken advantage of, but there are also many cases of men adopting another woman's child and having it all work out great.

Of course I have to remember that anything you say about women needs to be taken with a grain of salt. You're more bitter towards women than anyone I've met.

Post by **Lueyen** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:12 am

Diekan the same concept you expressed above could also apply to marriage for the most part. While I'm sure there are single mothers who's goal in pressing adoption is to get a man by the balls, I don't believe that is the case with the vast majority. In most cases a single mother is not looking for just a husband, but also a father and hence asking for both a commitment to her (marriage) and to her child/children (adoption). If that is something you are not willing to do, considering the reasons you stated, that is absolutely fine, provided you take the right approach (which you have), simply don't date women with children.

Post by **Lyion** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 6:56 am

Markarado wrote:Dieken, don't you think it's possible that a man can fall in love with both a woman and her child?

There are many cases of men being taken advantage of, but there are also many cases of men adopting another woman's child and having it all work out great.

Of course I have to remember that anything you say about women needs to be taken with a grain of salt. You're more bitter towards women than anyone I've met.

You answered your own question. I applaud responsibility, but again relationships are based on give and take, and if one enters it with all emotion and no pragmatism, it'll be rough when the partnership becomes based on friendship versus hot blood.

Diekan · Post by **Diekan** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 7:32 am

Why are some of you not getting it through your heads? YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ADOPT A CHILD TO BE A GOOD FATHER FIGURE FOR THAT CHILD.

Holy shit some of you are thick skulled...

Xaiveir · Post by **Xaiveir** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:36 am

Could we come up with a "same song and dance" emoticon for Diekans post on women please?

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:15 pm

lol, Diekan is a womanizer. I dont take anything he says personally. He has women issues.

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:16 pm

How can you say you will love a woman for life but not take responsibility for the other half of the commitment??? It doesn't make sense to me. They have to go hand in hand as far as i'm concerned. Otherwise it just seems like you don't really want the kid but have to in order to get the girl.

Post by **Lyion** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:50 pm

kinghooter00 wrote:How can you say you will love a woman for life but not take responsibility for the other half of the commitment??? It doesn't make sense to me. They have to go hand in hand as far as i'm concerned. Otherwise it just seems like you don't really want the kid but have to in order to get the girl.

You are taking responsibility. The last I checked you are paying for a roof over her head, food, and for the baby, correct.

You left a lot out of your initial post, and you continue to tell half a story here. I wonder how much of this is really bullshit.

Marriage is hard work when one enters it with the best of beginnings. Yours seems dodgy and half baked as anyone can tell.

Darcler · Post by **Darcler** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:09 pm

kinghooter00 wrote:How can you say you will love a woman for life but not take responsibility for the other half of the commitment??? It doesn't make sense to me. They have to go hand in hand as far as i'm concerned. Otherwise it just seems like you don't really want the kid but have to in order to get the girl.

But you dont have to adopt the child. It is NOT your child, no matter how you look at it. You can love the woman and love the child as your own, but you do not need to adopt the child.

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:17 pm

[quote="lyion[b]

Marriage is hard work when one enters it with the best of beginnings. Yours seems dodgy and half baked as anyone can tell.[/quote]

I hate how you guys make quick assumptions like that. In anycase, thanks for the input. I appreciate your feedback.

Are you married??
Who is married in here????
Who has Kids?

Just a general question...

Darcler · Post by **Darcler** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:34 pm

I am married with 2 children.

Dangel · Post by **Dangel** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:02 pm

My brother married a single mother. He adopted her daughter after the biological father signed whatever it was he needed to sign to allow it. They had two children together after they were married.

Their marriage lasted 5 years. He now pays child support for all three children, and he's fine with it. He still considers the oldest his own daughter and treats her the same as the other two. I think he would have regretted not adopting her if it meant that once they divorced he was out of her life.

There are good and bad points to adoption. Just thought I'd throw out what I felt was one of the good ones. Sure, he pays child support for someone else's kid, but he also reaps the benefits of being that kid's father.

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:08 pm

see that, thanks for that info, Dangel. Thats what i'm talking about. Even if we get a divorce, i would still love to be in her life. That might be what i was wanting to hear from someone. I'm not seeing a divorce, but who can ever tell.
I'm very happy with what i'm doing as of now and wouldn't change it for the world.

Post by **Martrae** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:11 pm

Married (to Kaharthemad) with 3 kids.

SAHM....I knows what I'm talking about!

araby · Post by **araby** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:46 pm

I think any action with good intentions will only lead to good things.

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:47 pm

Araby, you seem to be an awesome person. Thanks for the advice.

araby · Post by **araby** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:49 pm

kinghooter00 wrote:Araby, you seem to be an awesome person. Thanks for the advice.

well you made my day, thanks!

Harrison · Post by **Harrison** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:33 pm

araby wrote:I think any action with good intentions will only lead to good things.

Unfortunately, I have to disagree

araby · Post by **araby** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:58 pm

Harrison wrote:
araby wrote:I think any action with good intentions will only lead to good things.

Unfortunately, I have to disagree

It doesn't make me sad that you disagree with me. if you wanted to explain why though, I could hear your perspective and consider it. that is more important than the fact we disagree.