Chivalry hasn't died!

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Chivalry hasn't died!

Postby Maeya » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:11 pm

Porn DVD Screams Prompt Sword 'Rescue'
By Associated Press

2 hours ago

OCONOMOWOC, Wis. - A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

"Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."

According to a criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.

"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbor, the complaint said. "Where is she?"

The neighbor told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said that, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.

The neighbor later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.

Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanor counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.

Van Iveren said Tuesday that he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.

"I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Contesting his neighbor's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room, and that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.

"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.

Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.

Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom.


This article cracked me up. I feel so bad for the poor dude, who undoubtedly thought he'd be a hero with his sword, saving the fair maiden from the lustful advances of the foe, and instead ends up being threatened with all those charges and having his sword taken away. I hope the judge cuts him a break as his intentions were honorable. I just find it so cliche that the dude lives with his mom and owns a sword. $10 says he plays MMOs.
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Postby Martrae » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:11 pm

LOL
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Postby Darcler » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:14 pm

$10 also says that someone here brings up Taxx.
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Postby Maeya » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:15 pm

Besides you, I assume? ;)
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Postby Darcler » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:19 pm

Well yes, besides me. I'm guessing Jay, Ginz or Fin. Now having said their names, they wont say it just to prove me wrong :depressed:
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Postby Zanchief » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:42 pm

Yea, but what about Taxx....AM I RIGHT!
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Postby Evermore » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:45 pm

lol thats too funny
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Postby Tikker » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:14 pm

hey

wasn't someone here not that long ago trying to sell their everquest sword?


haha, that'd be hilarious if that's what it was
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Postby Zanchief » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:17 pm

Tikker wrote:hey

wasn't someone here not that long ago trying to sell their everquest sword?


haha, that'd be hilarious if that's what it was


Scatillac

http://namelesstavern.net/viewtopic.php?t=15556
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Postby Jay » Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:40 pm

So when Scatilac talks about his "roomate" he's really talking about his mom?
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Postby Harrison » Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:42 pm

No, Taxx would be too chickenshit to do anything.
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Postby Jay » Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:00 pm

Tacks wouldn't go and just attack someone in their home. He'd leave a note on their door with the address to the local K-Mart.
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Postby Trielelvan » Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:49 pm

:rofl:
HyPhY GhEtTo MaMi wrote:GeT ofF mAh OvaRiEz
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Postby Spazz » Wed Feb 21, 2007 8:54 pm

They really should give the guy a break. Sounds like he meant no harm just thought he was doin the right thing. Lot better I think than when people hear shit but do nothing cuz they dont wanna get involved.
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Postby Markarado » Thu Feb 22, 2007 1:21 am

:lol: I really do hope the judge gives the guy a break. Punishing the guy for this would be telling everyone that they shouldn't get involved... ever..
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Postby Gaazy » Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:28 am

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Postby Maeya » Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:09 am

I have to say, that's not at all what I imagined the guy to look like.
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Postby Zanchief » Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:15 am

Were you expecting something more like Jared from the subway commercials?
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Postby Maeya » Thu Feb 22, 2007 8:56 am

:teehee:

No, something more along the lines of:

Image
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Postby Insanityfair » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:19 am

Maeya wrote::teehee:

No, something more along the lines of:

Image



:rofl:
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Postby Xaiveir » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:25 am

Insanityfair wrote:
Maeya wrote::teehee:

No, something more along the lines of:

Image



:rofl:



Dear god, now that is funny!

As for the picture of the sword guy, he looks like a pedophile.
Why fight it, i am a Man Whore!
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Postby Martrae » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:28 am

If he's 39 he's probably living with his mom because of a divorce or her illness...
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Postby Maeya » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:32 am

Martrae... quit making sense when we're trying to ridicule an unknown person on the internet.
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Postby Martrae » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:39 am

Sorry....not enough sleep last night....carry on with your ridiculing!
Inside each person lives two wolves. One is loyal, kind, respectful, humble and open to the mystery of life. The other is greedy, jealous, hateful, afraid and blind to the wonders of life. They are in battle for your spirit. The one who wins is the one you feed.
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Postby Scatillac » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:55 am

just got outta jail, whats goin on?
ohhhhhh rusteh.
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