What to do?

[The Kizzy]

So I went to school with my neighbors. Michael and I were always good friends and we hung out, been good friends for 20 years. Since we were 13. I didn't know his wife that well, and didnt meet her until actual high school, and she was always kind of a bitch, but I guess that happens in high school.

Anyway, Machele and I have become good friends in the past year, and even though she can be a royal bitch, I still consider her a friend.

Saturday morning on my way to wrok, I get a call from her, she screwed up, I need to take her to get her truck. Im already on my way to work, but I turn around, head back home and pick her up to pick up her truck. She tells me that she left her sick husband at home last night (at his insistence) and went out. At 3am, Michael gets a phone call from Colby (another guy we went to school with) that he is bring his wife home. Machele is in the background yelling "Don't tell him about the stripping and dancing" She later swears that she doesnt remember saying this, and if she did, it was a joke. Colby brings her home at 4am, and she doesnt have a house key, and her garage door opener is in the truck that she left at the bar.

Machele SWEARS nothing happened. Michael forgives her and they move on. Thing is, I know for a fact, she is still calling and talkking to Colby. AND, this is not the first, or even second time she has done this to her husband. This is the third time. Last time, I know for a fact that she made out with the guy with her husband in the next room. At that party her husband left to take some friends home, and she supposedly was seen having sex with the other guy in her truck. Of course she denies all but one kiss to me.

Everytime she does something like this she swears it was the alcohol, and she will never do it again. She has the need to be the center of attention and creates all kinds of drama around her to be just that.

Here is the thing. I listen to her and give her advice, but other than that, I try to stay out of the middle of it. Michael came to me tonight and asked me to tell him the truth. I told him I didn't have anything to say, and that I wasn't getting in the middle of it, but he pulled the "We've known each other since we were 13" card.

I hate to "tattle" on her, but this guy is a GREAT guy. He works 90 hours a week at two jobs, has a beautiful house, brand new cars. He raises her first child like his own son, and they have a daughter together. They have been married 7 years. She can't keep a job and is a drunk. She called me yesterday at 4pm in the afternoon drunk asking me if she can jump her riding lawn mower battery from her truck battery. Her kids were at home.

She has some real issues, and always tries to place blame on everyone else and refuses to own up to her mistakes or to admit she has a drinking problem. She has admitted htat the only reason she stays with michael is because she doesnt eve have a GED, and he is stable. She just got fired from work because of her mouth.

Michael is at his wits end, and has asked me to be truthful. Do I keep my mouth shut, or do I tell him what I know?

[Tikker]

the truth shall set you free

[Markarado]

He should know the truth. Tell him

[Agrajag]

He should know the truth. Tell him

She should stay out of it and let them work out thier own problems. No one likes a meddling bitch.

[Markarado]

She's not meddling. She's been asked to tell the truth. It's not like she's purposefully getting involved.

One friend is fucking around on the other friend. One friend is in the right and one is in the wrong. If my wife or girlfriend was fucking around on me I'd sure as hell want to know about it.

[Harrison]

When my friends cheat on each other I don't say anything until it is specifically asked, or brought up directly.

This happens, a lot.

[Markarado]

I don't either. In this case she has been asked...

[Tikker]

She's not meddling. She's been asked to tell the truth. It's not like she's purposefully getting involved.

One friend is fucking around on the other friend. One friend is in the right and one is in the wrong. If my wife or girlfriend was fucking around on me I'd sure as hell want to know about it.

especially when it's a black dude

[Markarado]

Especially when it's a black dude!

[Dylan]

Don't be a dumbass, tell him.

Then get laid and move in and take part in owning the nice house, cars, daughters etc.

[Trielelvan]

Michael is at his wits end, and has asked me to be truthful. Do I keep my mouth shut, or do I tell him what I know?

You have to ask??? Dude, TELL HIM. He's your friend, and he's asking you directly. If you keep your mouth shut, then it's as good as lying.

I suppose the real questions are:
a) if you were in his shoes, would YOU want to know?
b) are you willing to testify in court for him should it come to that?

If "no," then keep your mouth shut and say as much that you don't want any part of it.

If the answer, however, is "yes," then lay it out straight for him. The things you know that are fact: tell him.

As for her and your friendship with her, uh, is that <i>really</i> the kind of friend you give a damn about keeping around yourself?
I realize this situation could blow up, and if they remain together, you are going to be put in a difficult position, but if you are really his friend, you won't keep this from him, especially when he is directly asking for your help.

[Harrison]

When things like this happen, don't add any opinions.

Tell him what you know 100%, and that alone.

[Tacks]

When my friends cheat on each other I don't say anything until it is specifically asked, or brought up directly.

This happens, a lot.

ROFL that says a lot about you, and the type of people you consider "friends".

[Martrae]

Kizzy, you don't want to go into the rumors of her cheating, which isn't something you personally know about. Stick to what you have witnessed (her being drunk all the time and a danger to the kids, etc).

You can tell him the rumors if you want but stress they are rumors first.

[10sun]

I'd avoid it, she'll ruin her own lifestyle pretty soon on her own.

[Phlegm]

Why don't you follow her with a video camera then send the it to her husband anonymously.

[Jay]

Confront her and tell her to tell him or you will. Give her the opportunity to come clean first and if she doesn't, then be your friend's friend and let him know what you know. Understand that you are Machele are probably done being friends after that too. In the future, pick better friends.

[Jennay]

Try to get him to sign up for that tv show thats on at like 3am called Cheaters.

[Insanityfair]

Confront her and tell her to tell him or you will. Give her the opportunity to come clean first and if she doesn't, then be your friend's friend and let him know what you know. Understand that you are Machele are probably done being friends after that too. In the future, pick better friends.

Only problem with this is she has time to plan a counter move. Or claim you threatened her or some other such bs, she seems like she would stoop pretty low. He's your friend, he asked you...go with telling only what you know for a fact though.

[Jay]

Confront her and tell her to tell him or you will. Give her the opportunity to come clean first and if she doesn't, then be your friend's friend and let him know what you know. Understand that you are Machele are probably done being friends after that too. In the future, pick better friends.

Only problem with this is she has time to plan a counter move. Or claim you threatened her or some other such bs, she seems like she would stoop pretty low. He's your friend, he asked you...go with telling only what you know for a fact though.

Good point.

Do it like this. Dude will ask his question. You respond "I think you should ask her because it's really none of my business." Before he asks her, call her up and tell her about the conversation you had with him and that if he asks you again that you're gonna tell him this time because you don't want to hold out info on a friend. That way you're giving her the heads up, which is what friends do for each other and at the same time your giving your other friend the opportunity to get an honest answer out of his wife without you being in the mix. Also, she has no grounds to say you're trying to pull any shit because you didn't rat her out in the beginning.

[araby]

I would stay out of it completely.

[Durothil Skyreaver]

I would meddle as much as possible.

[The Kizzy]

Well Michael called me today. I told him flat out, that no matter what he hears, its all rumor. Unless someone saw first hand with their own eyes, he has to take it with a grain of salt. And if someone did tell him that they saw something he needs to politely ask them if they would meet him later when his wife was available so he can confront his wife with that person there.

What she told me she told me in confidence. Its not my place to say anything, especially since he wants to work it out. And even if I did tell him what she told me, she could always deny it. I didn't see anything first hand.

[Dylan]

~_~

[Harrison]

When my friends cheat on each other I don't say anything until it is specifically asked, or brought up directly.

This happens, a lot.

ROFL that says a lot about you, and the type of people you consider "friends".

No, it tells you that my male friends (the only ones who have done the cheating) are lecherous pricks who think with their dick.