The Power (and Peril) of Praising Your Kids

Post by **Martrae** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:47 am

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index.html

Long...but fascinating...

Xaiveir · Post by **Xaiveir** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:08 am

That was very interesting. Long read, but deffinatly worth it.

Tikker · Post by **Tikker** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:17 am

Yup, I've seen similar papers to this before

was in basically the same situation myself

I found university very difficult because of the change in emphasis

all the way thru school it was all about being rewarded for being smart

get to university, and BAM, it's all about working hard
it took me probably 2 years to adjust, where my brother who never did well in school, and had to work hard to scrape by did very well in university (that was almost harder than not being successful right off the bat

)

Maeya · Post by **Maeya** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:51 am

That was a good read, and I can actually see a little bit of it in myself. I was always praised for being smart by both parents & teachers, and I do tend to cop out and take the easy way if I can because I hate failure so much. If I can't do something very well, I get frustrated and give up easily.

Thank you for posting, it was really interesting seeing that in a new light. I'll try to keep some of those thoughts in mind when praising Lang's daughter for stuff.

Darcler · Post by **Darcler** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:56 am

I'm the same way. If I dont think I cant do something correctly the first time, I wont try. Or it will take a lot of convincing me to get to try.

A common phrase to my daughter is "great job!", neither really smart of effort based, I dont think. I'll keep this more in mind as she grows up though.