HAHA My friend Tim sent me this

Sidle up to the bar (Lightly Moderated)

Moderator: Dictators in Training

Post Reply
User avatar
The Kizzy
NT Patron
NT Patron
Posts: 15193
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 9:48 pm
Location: In the closet with the ghosts

HAHA My friend Tim sent me this

Post by The Kizzy »

He has a really strange sense of humor.

1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a three minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

6. Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the headache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

When all else fails, toss down a good shot of whiskey and take a nap.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Zanchief wrote:
Harrison wrote:I'm not dead


Fucker never listens to me. That's it, I'm an atheist.
araby
Nappy Headed Ho
Nappy Headed Ho
Posts: 7818
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2004 12:53 am
Location: Charleston, South Carolina
Contact:

Post by araby »

I enjoyed that.
Image
User avatar
Markarado
NT Veteran
NT Veteran
Posts: 1802
Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2004 2:55 am
Location: Penang, Malaysia

Post by Markarado »

:lol: Good stuff....
Post Reply