Kizzy, I raised my ex-girlfriend's kid from the age of 2-5, and I lived with my sister while she was home with her 2 daughters. So no I don't have kids, but I have firsthand experience in the area.
I was spanked once when I grew up, and my mom said she'd leave my dad if he ever did it again. My parents are still together My sister never spanked her kids, and she has 2 angels. My ex girlfriend rarely spanked her son, and when he was REALLY worked up it was me that calmed him down, not a beating.
I never did much baby-sitting myself, but my younger brother did plenty of it; and it he was baby-sitting at a very young age.
I was going around alone (with no other kids or adults) in China because there weren't many foreigners in Tianjin back then. Making friends with Chinese people wasn't really an option.
I speak enough Mandarin to get around while in China, but not enough to speak fluently. I'm currently working on learning Hokkien (The Chinese dialect spoken in Penang, Malaysia). After really getting Hokkien down I will go back to learning Mandarin. I chose to go with Hokkien for now because I have the opportunity to practice on a regular basis.
Burgy, trust me it is different when you have your own. IMO you should never spank first, you should always try to find some other means of punishment, but sometimes it is necessary. Yes, I am a mother who has and will spank her son if *I* feel it is the right thing to do. He is my child, and it is my responsibility to raise him. So in his universe, what I say goes.
Zanchief wrote:
Harrison wrote:I'm not dead
Fucker never listens to me. That's it, I'm an atheist.
Thinking of the kids ages here that the story says they were, How old was everybody when they first bumped ughleys??? I'm just wondering.... i was 18 yrs old... When i was 12, i was still playing with TMNT in the bushes with my friends and playing kickball... I can't every imagine at that age, seeing a group session in my school.... That story seems too beefed up to me... If anything, they were dry humping and being funny about it....
I havent hit my kids. I have swatted Hailey, but never spanked, nor do I plan on it. However, if it comes down to it, I will (or make Gid do it).
You cant reason with a 2 year old. They dont value things enough to take away a prized possession. So sometimes, swatting their ass is the only thing to do.
I've been lucky enough to have 2 pretty well behaved kids. The only time I know I am going to have a problem with Hailey is if she is getting overly tired. My son is a happy baby like my daughter was, so I think I am going to have a copy of Hailey. I shouldnt have to spank, ever.
My mom spanked me, and beyond. I vowed when I was younger to never ever ever spank my kids, but when you have kids, you realize you might not have that option.
My Mom spanked me when I was very young, and never needed to again. The Italian gaze of ire and the fearsome voice of death were enough
Spanking is needed when kids are very young for the fear quotient. You spank a little so you don't have a big problem. Timeout does not work for the terrible twos, always.
The issues with this are twofold. There are parents who 'beat' their kids, which is unacceptable. The spanking isn't for pain, but for 'fear of consequences'. There are also parents who do not discipline their kids which is equally unacceptable.
I've raised two kids from infant to teenager and I can count the times I've needed to spank both on one hand. The trick is moreso consistency. If one is consistent and has the parent-child thing down, it's not an issue. Burgy, you may think you have it, but no offense, you weren't raising them, and likewise I doubt you remember how you were as a toddler in the terrible twos. I'd bet there were times your butt was swatted, as with your sisters kids.
In regards to your other question, Hooter, I'd rather not discuss my life, as there are people who like to bring stuff up in personal attacks. There are too many kids here who because of what ever reason go bipolar ape.
Teenagers are dumb, as everyone who has been one can attest. Teenagers overcome with hormones are doubly so.
What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. – C. S. Lewis
I'm so proud of myself. I've gotten down the mom stare. It works so very well, even at 2.
Sometimes its just hard not to laugh when she is doing something dumb and I tell her to stop and give her The Look and she looks at me like she is amusing herself and doesnt care what I think. Its a goofy look. But if I keep it up she'll stop.
I was perfect during my terrible two's Lyion, I didn't get devious untill I was older I couple pats on the ass during the terrible two's is one thing, heck they won't even remember it. But once they are 4/5+ theres definately other ways around it. But again, I don't have kids, so thats just my opinion.
Like what Gaazy said, when I see people beat their kids in public like Wal Mart, it infuriates me. This one fat bitch slapped her kid across the face because she grabbed a drink, and he asked for one too. She said if he asked again he'd really feel it. I wanted to walk up to her, punch her in the face, tell her she's a fatass, a failure as a parent, and that her mom and dad failed at raising her too. And after all that, I would have bought the kid the damn flavored water that he wanted.
Heh, at 2, I can still get away with letting her pretend that she is drinking my drink. Or making her pretend to be eating the cookie before we pay for it. It keeps her quiet and entertained. God bless children.
I don't agree with spanking in public but I have and probably will again pull one of my nephews around to the side and give them a swat. When I go to a store and I see some kid absolutely acting nuts and the parents just give in to whatever they want, that makes me roll my eyes. But once I was in a store and this lady was cursing her kid out like he was someone on the street, he had to be about 3. I felt so bad for him, because if she does that in public, imagine his home life.
My son knows better, if he even thinks about acting up in a store or anywhere in public for that matter, I just grab him tightly around the forearm and I firmyly whisper in his ear that if he doesnt behave, he will get a spanking when we get home. It works EVERY TIME. Wanna know why? because if he doesnt behave, when we get home, I follow through on my threat. If not, they walk all over you.
Zanchief wrote:
Harrison wrote:I'm not dead
Fucker never listens to me. That's it, I'm an atheist.
Placing your hand on the nape of their neck does the same thing. Give it a little squeeze if need be and kids just forget about whatever it was that was causing them to disbehave and they behave.
Its a little more painful on their part, doesn't look nearly as bad in public (it can actually look like a show of affection) if you don't have to squeeze.
Not all Muslims are like this, but some families believe that the wives have no authority over male children. You can imagine how these kids act in public.
Chinese traditionally spoil the hell out of their first born son. They let him do just about anything he wants to. They almost always refuse to discipline them. You can imagine how these kids act in public. Again, this is not all Chinese.
Every country has these kinda parents... It's interesting to see where this type of behavior derives from.
I personally think hitting a kid should be reserved for if they physically hurt someone else (ie, kicked little sister in the head, beat the neighbor's kid with a rubber hose, murdered a transient, ect). Everything else should be logically related punishments (ie, if they abuse something, take it/throw it away. If they damage something, they pay for it, ect ect). I'm never going to be raising any little nightmarish moppets though so whatever.
But I like 10sun's idea of doin the TSSSSST!!! thing to the kids in the neck like the dog whisperer does!!! It always makes the dogs submissive so it probably works on kids too.
(AP) A substitute teacher's tool for silencing chatty kindergartners, clothespins, doesn't wash with school officials.
Four boys said spring-type clothespins were placed over their upper or lower lips for talking too much in class, Amanda-Clearcreek Primary School principal Mike Johnsen wrote in a letter to parents this week.
Ruth Ann Stoneburner, a retired school nurse who had worked as a substitute for several years, confirmed to Johnsen that she had used the clothespin discipline March 26, he said.
Stoneburner will not work again in the Amanda-Clearcreek district and was being reported to the state education department, Superintendent J.B. Dick said Wednesday.
Officials found out about the discipline after a parent complained. The students weren't hurt, but the punishment isn't condoned by the district, Dick said.
Stoneburner could not be reached for comment at phone listings under her last name in Amanda, which is about 25 miles southeast of Columbus.
For the most part, I raise my voice and my son snaps too. I have a really stern voice when I want to and he knows I mean business. If he is totally wild, I will do like a10 says apply pressure to the back of his neck or give a quick tug to a pinch worth of hair on the back of his head to get his attention and show him the situation is getting serious if he doesn't shape up. He really is a great kid and I could never see myself spanking him. He tries hard to be good and I know he respects me at least for now... he will be a teenager next year.... yikes... I remember how I was!