Question

[Diekan]

Ok, serious question here. Now, I've been on the dating scene for quite some time and have been out with a bunch of women, but I am now in a situation that I have never been in and don't know what to make of it.

So, here's the deal. I meet this chick like 5 months ago at the gym. It took 4 months of chatting it up before I finally got her to call me. We go out on a date and have a great time. I ask her out again and she agrees. The second date we end up at her place and everything, lot of making out, but no sex. The next morning we meet up for breakfast - again had a great time. I set something up for this weekend and she's up for it.

Now, here's the thing... in the past the women that I've dated who were really interested made an effort to contact me. This one doesn't. No text messages, no phone calls... nothing. Yet when I call her she acts like she's excited to hear from me. I ask her out and she gladly accepts.

Not sure what to make of this... I asked her if she wants to come over this week during the week to hang out and she said she'd check her schedule (she works a lot) to see if she can - no word. And, I probably wont hear anything. Now if I were to call her she'd have an answer.

So, wtf... why would someone who acts interested not make any attempt to contact the guy she 'wants?'

If I didn't call her at all - I wouldn't hear from her.... which isn't a good sign I suppose.

[10sun]

Traditionalist with her views of dating.
Give her a call, it is the beginning of a relationship that will last a long time, but never get serious.

[Jay]

Make sure she has your phone number.

Seriously Diek, take that as a fucking blessing. You have the control. You don't have to wait for shit. Watch the damn game, drink beers with the homies and party like a rockstar then call her when you feel like it and you know she'll answer and be down to go out.

[Diekan]

Well, nature of the beast - the ones you really want are the ones you never get.

Something to this though. I think the fact she's been burned a few times has left her a bit uneasy about men in general (can't say that I blame her), so maybe she's just being cautious.

But, still that doesn't explain why someone who has such as an obvious good time and displays an obvious attraction to someone would be so seemingly unwilling to make an effort of contacting. Unless, she's trying not to come across as desperate.

I stopped trying to figure "them" out a long time ago... like I said - this is just an unusual situation for me, because I am used to women who let you know if they're interested or not. I'm not used to them acting one way then "doing" something else...

Very strange indeed.

[Harrison]

It's not strange behavior at all, just strange to you.

[kinghooter00]

she's to kinda hearted so she doesn't have the heart to tell you to leave her the fuck alone, therefore, gritting her teeth and baring it.

[Diekan]

gritting her teeth and baring it.

Kinda like what your wife was doing last night when I rammed my cock in her ass.

And, for the virgin boy... well... we all know his deal.

[araby]

she's probably mature. don't think about it too much.

[Tacks]

Seeing as how you're probably a huge douchebag in life I think KH might be right.

[Harrison]

Diekan, I am almost 100% sure that a 16 year-old boy would know more about women than you.

Every few months you come here and prove that with a single post.

[The Kizzy]

Diekan, I kind of agree with Jay *swallows vomit* You are in control, be happy. Maybe she doesn't want you thinking she is too clingy. Just give her until Thursday and call her.

[Jay]

Diekan, I kind of agree with Jay *swallows vomit* You are in control, be happy. Maybe she doesn't want you thinking she is too clingy. Just give her until Thursday and call her.

Despite my postings I'm quite knowledgeable on the workings of the world which includes the realm of women.

[Lyion]

We're not getting the full story here, Diek. Extrapolate, plz.

[ClakarEQ]

ROFL at KH's avatar, WTG bud, that is just excellent!!.

Diekan, don't call her for a week, then give her a call. Ask her why she never followed up with you.

Playing hard to get is one thing, not doing something you said you'd do is something else. If she said she would call or confirm or whatever, but then doesn't, doing this once, hey no biggie, if it is a patern, I'd be thinking of things like, lack of respect, she is using you, etc (not saying these are bad, especially if you just want sex, but still, I'd see no long term relationship either).

[Gypsiyee]

It sounds to me she's playing the role that you've so often preached about men needing to play here, and she's pretty much got you hook line and sinker - Jay mentioned something about you having control and not having to worry about anything, but right now it sounds like she's got the upper hand. She may not 'want' you as badly as you think she does and she's just feigning interest for the sake of keeping things the way they are. If she does 'want' you like you say she does, she's playing her cards exactly how she needs to play them to have you eating out of the palm of her hand, because it's obvious you're sweating over it a bit.

[Martrae]

I was just gonna say...whatever she's doing it's apparently working. You're chasing her instead of the other way around...which I'd say is the usual way you do things.

Play it her way for a while. Your normal MO isn't doing anything but making you bitter. This may work out better than you could ever guess.

[runamonk]

You guys play way too many games.

Diek just talk to her about it man. It's a really crazy concept I know, talking to a woman but I bet if you put your mind to it, you can do it.

Don't play teenage do you like me type games.

[Martrae]

[Naethyn]

Never mention commitment of any type at all until she does. But seriously, make a move. Soon

My theory of women-
The more beautiful a woman is the sooner she deserves to be fucked. Any guy who doesn't recognize this doesn't deserve to fuck her.

Plus, you can always play the "I usually don't have sex on the first date but, your beauty deserves it." after you hit it! haha.

Works every time~

[Tikker]

I didn't know you were in 11th grade Naethyn

[Naethyn]

High school chicks rock!

[Harrison]

No shit...

[Jay]

Never mention commitment of any type at all until she does. But seriously, make a move. Soon

My theory of women-
The more beautiful a woman is the sooner she deserves to be fucked. Any guy who doesn't recognize this doesn't deserve to fuck her.

Plus, you can always play the "I usually don't have sex on the first date but, your beauty deserves it." after you hit it! haha.

Works every time~

Don't be selfish Diekan. Take Naethyn's advice. That way your best friend gets laid and what better way to do a man a solid than to get him laid.

[10sun]

Never mention commitment of any type at all until she does. But seriously, make a move. Soon

My theory of women-
The more beautiful a woman is the sooner she deserves to be fucked. Any guy who doesn't recognize this doesn't deserve to fuck her.

Plus, you can always play the "I usually don't have sex on the first date but, your beauty deserves it." after you hit it! haha.

Works every time~

Have you ever stopped to wonder why it is you have issues with relationships?

It doesn't sound as though Diekan is looking simply for a cheap and easy lay without consequence, but rather understanding into the woman that captivates him so clearly.

I speak from experience dealing with a similar type of woman who has her own life and isn't looking for a "serious" relationship.
However she does hold traditionalist views on dating where the man will always call the woman rather than it being a free for all.
She sounds as though she has her act together and doesn't need a relationship, but doesn't mind going out with someone once in a while.
She is quite possibly afraid of commitments from past relationship failures and should not be pressured into feeling as though she has to make any types of commitments.

A plausible course of action would be to simply ask her out because you are genuinely interested in seeing her again and again in the future rather than treating her as something that a broad set of rules can be applied to.

Don't waste your time or hers by asking what her "problem" might be, that will accomplish nothing aside from widening the preexisting rift that she has setup as a boundary. When the time comes that she feels the need to talk to you about any worries and fears she has about the future, she will talk. Until then, take it one date at a time and enjoy the quality time you share with her.

-Adam

[Diekan]

She's a scorpio and we're going out Sat night... more to come!