Why I use women for sex

[Diekan]

Most of you don't know what I am like in real life - only two of you have ever met me in person, and I thought that went pretty well - hopefully - the three of us will hook back up one day, who knows.

When it comes to women I've done a lot of things I regret (mostly when it came to using them for a 'good time' and then sending them on their way - which by the way was usually a mutual thing).

So one day I figured... why not. Why not find a good girl and 'settle down' - going out and dating around actually sucks - for those of you that do it, I am sure you know where I'm coming from. All the money, the game playing, it's all a bunch of bullshit in the end.

Anyway, so over the years you've all heard my rants and I am sure a lot more of you were agreement with my points than were willing to publicly admit. Kind of like pointing out certain stereotypes. You do with those closest to you, but would never publicly acknowledge your agreement with certain opinions.

There's a reason my positions have always been so borderline harsh - but typically accurate.

About 6 months ago I meet someone at the gym. Beautiful young, professional woman that seemed to have a lot going for her. I kept my eye on her for quite some time. We'd talk when we'd bump into each other at the gym and I actually realized that I was intentionally going at certain times just in hopes of running into her. Over the course of building our friendship we finally went out on a date. It was perfect. It got hot and heavy and everything just clicked. We spent a lot of quality time together and even started making plans for up and coming events (birthdays, holidays, so on).

She is separated and hasn't filed for divorce yet out of fear of losing her home. Been separated for well over a year now. And, she's worried about what other people would think if they saw her out with *someone* else. Ok, two bad signs right there, but because we were so happy together I chose to ignore those signs. And take a chance.

Then *it* happened. She went back home for a week for a friend's wedding. I knew, in my gut, that she was most certainly going to change while she was away - they ALWAYS do.

She gets back and soon as I pick her up from the airport I notice a change. Oh, the physical affection was still there, but there was something in her eyes that was different. Something amiss. I knew then I was in trouble.

Two days later she comes over and breaks it off. She pulled a chapter right out of the Playa's-Handbook: "I'm really going to miss you, I know I'm going to regret this down the road, you're everything I could ever want, I love you, but I don't know *how* I love you (meaning as a friend or a boyfriend I would assume), I'm happy with you... bla bla and bla." I know it's a crock of shit, because in this day and age? Finding someone for whom you supposedly feel all those things for? You sure as hell don't let them go. So, yeah, I knew she was feeding me a line of shit to make the break up go easier and probably to make herself feel better...'

So, what happened? I know exactly what happened - she went home probably hooked up with an old boyfriend, or a guy friend who's always wanted her. She probably got a taste of the "single" life (she told me I was the first guy she dated since her separation - which I have my suspicions about, but gave her the benefit of a doubt anyway) and decided that she needed to be free! Ok, when you're 22 - sure - but when you're 30? Uhhh that's not usually the road one takes. But, anyway...

I finally take a chance. I finally let me guard down and let someone in. I finally set aside all the frivolous pursuits of chasing tail and take someone serious. And what happens? I get burned.

I thought this was the perfect chick. She loved football, video games, doing a lot of the things I like to do.

This is the type of chick you can take to an old arcade and spend half the night playing quarter fed old school games like Galaxia. Then turn around the next night and take her to a high priced restaurant and a jazz club after. I could take her out to a vineyard on Saturday and then to a sports bad on Sunday to eat wings, watch the games and down a few drinks. She was cool with all that. You have any idea how hard that is to find? Most women out there fall into categories - the "I do things *outdoors*, the "I don't watch sports", the "video games are for children" - types. You all know exactly what I mean.

Am I scorned? Fuck yes I am. Am I hurt? You're damn right. Am I going to put myself in a situation like that again. It'll snow in hell first. I'm going back to the way I used to be. I will never look at any of them as potential for anything other than getting ME off.

Fuck 'em. That's about all they're good for.

I went to the vet today to get the something for my pet and picked up on the technician, cute redhead, that was behind the counter. Supposed to go out for drinks either tonight or tomorrow. Poor girl has no idea what she's in for.

Oh and of course she used the ole "I'm not saying goodbye, we'll talk again" - my ass we'll talk again. I'll never hear another peep out of her.

[Martrae]

I'm sorry she hurt you Diekan. I was hoping you'd find some happiness.

[Dylan]

I didn't read this thread, but you're novel posts about women are always worth a rofl.

[Diekan]

You read it and you loved it!

[The Kizzy]

It sucks this happened to you, but underneath all your mysogynistic (did I spell that right?) ways. You are a great guy, and I truly feel that one day you will find the perfect woman for you. I guess I'm an old romantic, i believe there is someone out there for everyone. Hopefully she is hispanic, with a bahdonkadonk.

[araby]

why I use men for sex

You all know what I am like. I have met sex (typo!) six* of you and and it was fun, um, maybe we'll do it again.

When it comes to men I've done a lot of things I regret. Many of my regrets include using men for sex, hence the title.

I got sick of the dating scene. Nothing was working, or else I wouldn't be writing this. I jumped the shark, and decided to, yep! You guessed it! "Settle down." I'm gonna let one rope me in...gonna tear down my walls and let go of myself and let someone else finally have me!

I generalize everything. I tell you how I use these men and tell you how they are all alike. Deep down I know you all agree with me, even if you don't admit it and it makes me feel good because I know I won't publicly admit it, either.

There's a reason I think I'm right, even if I'm wrong.

About 6 months ago I met someone at the gym. Good-looking, successful man that seemed to have a lot going for him. I kept my eye on him (like a HAWK!) for quite some time. We'd talk when we'd bump into each other at the gym and I actually realized that I was intentionally going to at certain times, because I'm a stalker bitch, just in hopes of running into him. Over the course of building our friendship he finally got the balls to ask me out instead of batting me around with his paw. It was perfect. It got hot and heavy and everything just clicked. We spent a lot of quality time together and even started making plans for up and coming events (birthdays, holidays, so on). He was so dreamy.

He is separated and hasn't filed for divorce yet out of fear of losing his home. Been separated for well over a year now. And, he's worried about what other people would think if they saw him out with *someone* else. *note to self, this was the red flag I should not have ignored.* I decide to take a chance. You might be thinking, "but araby, you said it was 'perfect' like harrison's girlfriend but he's not filing for divorce yet! Doesn't seem so perfect!"

Then *it* happened. He went back home for a week for a friend's wedding. I knew, in my gut, that he was most certainly going to change while he was away - they ALWAYS do. I ALWAYS generalize. Instead of following my gut feeling and walking away, I tune in for more goodness of an adulterous nature. I ALWAYS ignore myself.

He gets back and soon as I pick him up from the airport I notice a change. WHAT THE FUCK. Where did this sudden change come from?? Oh, the physical affection was still there, don't you worry he DEFINITELY wanted me...but there was something in his eyes that was different. Something was a missing. I knew then I was in trouble. Actually, I knew I was in trouble when he wasn't filing for divorce

Two days later he comes over and breaks it off. He pulled a chapter right out of some made up book with rules for relationships and dating: "I'm really going to miss you, I know I'm going to regret this down the road, you're everything I could ever want, I love you, but I don't know *how* I love you I'm happy with you... bla bla and bla." I start searching for that note to self..

So what happened? I don't know but I assume he went back to his wife or went through some phase of single happiness, which, I was happy to give him even though I think it makes much more sense to just keep right on trucking! I'm sure he fucked a lot of people. I know what he did, I'm just not sure. No really, I know exactly what he was doing. It was probably with another woman.

I finally take a chance. I finally let me guard down and let someone in. I finally set aside all the frivolous pursuits of interviews and take someone serious. And what happens? I get burned. even though, I knew he was still married and I had a gut feeling...I got burned.

I thought this was the perfect man. He loved shopping, trips to the salon, doing a lot of the things I like to do. It was like having a girlfriend, except he was a guy.

This was the type of guy that I thought would be the one. We upholstered furniture together, painted the living room and he even picked the color!

Am I scorned? Fuck yes I am. Am I hurt? You're damn right. Am I going to put myself in a situation like that again. It'll snow in hell first. I'm going back to the way I used to be. I will never look at any of them as potential for anything other than getting ME off. Stupid men. Even though I had a gut feeling, even though he was married. Even though I have this way of fucking everything up with my horrible outlook, even before it has a chance to start I damn it to hell, because he is just a sexual person to me, and that is it and that is all.

Fuck 'em. That's about all they're good for.

Oh and of course he used the ole "I'm not saying goodbye, we'll talk again" - my ass we'll talk again. I'll never hear another peep out of him. He may as well have said, "I used you and you used me too. It's what we do...don't you get it?" But then, if I did, we might not have a disagreement or an expectation. I don't have to be emotionally involved with men I use sex for. I use men for sex because that is what they are good for and I'm going to keep doing it because as long as there is someone out there that could hurt me, I'm going to hurt them first. Seems fair. It's kill or be killed. Die men, while I fuck your brains out and walk away. It has absolutely nothing to do with the kind of people I surround myself with.

[Trielelvan]

Finding someone for whom you supposedly feel all those things for? You sure as hell don't let them go.

Sadly, that is usually very much not true. Most people, in my experience, find someone they appear to be completely compatible with, then run it into the ground or let go altogether, and continue on in one miserable relationship after another.

You know, all previous bickering and poking fun aside, I really am sorry you have such lousy luck with women. Don't let this experience harden your heart. Learn what you can from the relationship and take it with you. Your gut feeling warned you in the beginning - listen to it next time. You've been in enough fucked up relationships to know that when there's a bad sign, it's about 99% sure to be spot on (separated but no divorce because of the house + "afraid of what people will think to see her *out* with someone else" = maturity level 0, especially at that age... wow).

[Trielelvan]

LMAO Araby
She's right though - you should listen to her Diekan

[Maeya]

She probably astrologically incompatible. Or maybe she was born under the wrong Chinese zodiac.

[leah]

holy shit ashly that was AWESOME <3 (and spot-on)

[Tikker]

you were the rebound boyfriend and you're shocked that it didn't work out?

you really don't know fuck all about women or relationships do you?

[Markarado]

Yah, no kidding. You didn't see that you were just the rebound guy? I'd have thought that'd be obvious to someone with so much experience like yourself.......

[Diekan]

Fuck I couldn't do it. We [the vet tech] and I met up for drinks and dinner. Came back to my place for a movie - and the opportunity was there to do her. But, I told her I couldn't because I had just been dumped by someone whom I cared about and it didn't feel right.

WTF.

All I kept thinking about was that she wasn't my type...

The chick that just dumped me isn't right in the head. Separated for over a year? Who does that? Just because of a house? Fucking houses are a dime a dozen, especially in this market. Obviously she still wants to be with the "ex" or she'd have filed long ago.

Leave it to me to pick the wrong damn one.

[Trielelvan]

Yah, no kidding. You didn't see that you were just the rebound guy? I'd have thought that'd be obvious to someone with so much experience like yourself.......

You're no shining example yourself there smartstuff

[Diekan]

right now I have more rum in me than I care to admit.... b ut anway...

I suspected I was the rebound guy... but come on... after a YEAR+? Sure, after a month...maybe... I'd have been more careful... But surely after a year....

Doesn't matter.... damage is done.

I had the chance to "use" this chick I went out with tonight and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I am ruined...

[Markarado]

I am no shining example, but I wasn't experienced either. I've learned from that mistake. I'm now a wise man!

[Ouchyfish]

right now I have more rum in me than I care to admit.... b ut anway...

I suspected I was the rebound guy... but come on... after a YEAR+? Sure, after a month...maybe... I'd have been more careful... But surely after a year....

Doesn't matter.... damage is done.

I had the chance to "use" this chick I went out with tonight and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I am ruined...

Go kill yourself, you just became Harrison.

[Markarado]

[Mop]

Currently I run a 2 month rule. That is how long I want any relationship to last.

[Narrock]

I'm actually feeling sympathetic and empathetic for Diekan because I know the hurt he's going through. That same shit has happened to me several times. I've been the rebound guy, as well as the guy who would do anything for the woman he loves... only to end up getting stomped on and kicked to the curb.

I fell head-over-heels in love with Stacy, and did so much for her and her two daughters (HUGE mistake) because unbeknownst to me at the time, I met her when she was at a financial low point in her life. She was unemployed, trying to raise her children with little help from her parents and no help whatsover from her ex-husband. I took her and the kids shopping every week... bought them all new shoes, clothes, diapers, household cleaning supplies, groceries and bulk food items from Costco or Sam's Club. I put gas in her tank, helped her pay some bills, picked the kids up from daycare, and helped consistently with cleaning her apartment. I did it because I was so in love with her, and loved her children as they were my own, and did it because they needed it. Even today, her little 2 1/2 year old's voice still haunts me when I think about her. She couldn't say my name right, so she would always say "Er Er" with a huge smile on her face and she would run over and hug me. Stacy's 5 year old daughter would always sit on my lap and show me what she just colored, or what kraft they had her do in school that day. She always wanted me to watch spongebob with her... her favorite cartoon. I even bought her a few spongebob DVD's. I took the kids every Sunday to go feed the ducks at the lake behind the apartment. I was in pure bliss, and I thought we were all going to be a happy family some day. I took Stacy and her older daughter to Disneyland last April and proposed to her at my friend's house during a get-together while we were down there in SoCal. I even asked Jessica if I could be her step-daddy, and I gave her a ring too.

So, then Stacy gets a good-paying job in Escrow, and after she started getting some paychecks and was able to support herself and her kids on her own... all of a sudden she started becoming distant towards me. It started getting worse with each passing day. Then one night when I was over at her apartment, she wanted me to just leave because she wanted to spend time alone with her girls. The phone calls, text messages, etc. all came to a screeching halt after that. When I demanded an explanation for why she was changing so much she told me, "I thought I was ready for another relationship, but I realized after a couple months that I wasn't... I'm so sorry." Then she gave me the ring back. We live in the same apartment complex, but on opposite ends. Now I see her ex-husband's truck parked in front of her apartment like 4-5 nights a week, and it's there all night. The same ex that couldn't afford to help her with child support... the same guy that became an alcoholic, a druggie, an online gambler who gambled Stacy's money away... yeah, that's the douchebag she's hanging out with again. The pain and sadness I endured from this was absolutely incredible. I was completely devastated.

About 4 months later, I meet Karyn, the actress chick. This time I was careful not to do too much for her... I didn't want to smother her or come across as eager. I made myself not as available as I was for Stacy. Sure, I took her out to dinner, returned her phone calls and text messages, brought her flowers when she had a shitty day at work, and was always respectful towards her and always showed interest in her career. Then a few days ago she tells me that she's still not over her ex, and thinks she still has feelings for him and that it's not fair to me.

So now after falling for two different girls and being a gentleman and treating them great, it finally hit me... if you're too nice to girls, do the right thing, and show interest, they will take it as a weakness and kick your ass to the curb. Is this a new code amongst today's women, or is it a natural female reaction? Whatever the reason behind it is, it still sucks major ass, and is the biggest head-scratcher I've ever encountered.

So, Diekan, although we have our disagreements... I can totally understand why you want to treat women the way you do. I'm almost to that point myself, but I'm still holding on to the hope that every woman out there is not a flaming, retarded, chemically-imbalanced douche, and that there is still a good woman somewhere out there for me.

[Lyion]

Diekan the fact she hasn't even filed for divorce suggests there is much more going on.

The house story is bullshit, and a cover.

Anyways, move on. Start dating girls based on who they are first, and not their overall level of equality in The Ladder Theory.

[Gypsiyee]

Not that I'm not sympathetic to your pain Diek, I am - it always sucks to lose someone you care about like this. but you posted about this chick a couple months ago or so and people gave you advice and flat out told you she didn't sound *that* interested and to take it at face value.

This isn't one of your usual money grubbing stereotypical slut rants. This is just some long explanation to fuck over women using an example of someone losing interest and breaking up with you - people break up. Often. Things change, feelings change. *Not* everyone turns around and makes it so that everybody in the same sex is worthless.

You know that this situation isn't that of what you normally rant and rave about, so why did you turn it into another fuck women rant? If you think that because you've been with someone a few months and are really interested in them means that they should remain loyal to you forever and the relationship will be everlasting.. no wonder you hate women so much, you're deluded.

[Ouchyfish]

Not that I'm not sympathetic to your pain Diek, I am - it always sucks to lose someone you care about like this. but you posted about this chick a couple months ago or so and people gave you advice and flat out told you she didn't sound *that* interested and to take it at face value.

This isn't one of your usual money grubbing stereotypical slut rants. This is just some long explanation to fuck over women using an example of someone losing interest and breaking up with you - people break up. Often. Things change, feelings change. *Not* everyone turns around and makes it so that everybody in the same sex is worthless.

You know that this situation isn't that of what you normally rant and rave about, so why did you turn it into another fuck women rant? If you think that because you've been with someone a few months and are really interested in them means that they should remain loyal to you forever and the relationship will be everlasting.. no wonder you hate women so much, you're deluded.

Hahahahaha! Great post and you reminded me of that Adam Sandler sketch on SNL "The Denise Show"!!!!!! hahahahahah

Hahahahaha LOOK-It's Diekan!!!---->

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqBFticFfrY

[araby]

I never saw that clip! hahahaha!! I don't have any room to laugh.

[Harrison]

lol @ long post about women again