Snake Handlers!

General location for all religious discussion. Loosely moderated for now, we will see how things go.

Moderators: Ganzo, Dictators in Training

Snake Handlers!

Postby Gaazy » Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:16 pm

So, I went to a real snake handler church this mornin. You can find em all over the place up the hollers and stuff down here, usually just a bunch of nutcases in a 1 room shack. Well last week I met this ole boy in the mines that swore up and down he was a snake handler, and he wanted me to come down and go to church with him haha. So I decided sure, what the hell, lets go see how crazy these people are. So I got up today and made the hour drive there and up the holler and met him at his house, then went down to the church

You wanna talk about crazy? Godamn, these people were dancin around with rattlers, copperheads, cottonmouths, and all kinds of crazy shit wrapped around their heads and bodies. I have never, in my fuckin life, seen anything like this shit. I stayed for like 15 minutes until a rattler took a lunge at me then got the fuck out before I ended up in a bed or some shit. This one old guy was dancin around with a MONSTER rattler around his neck speakin in tongues and a screamin and shit. I couldnt even laugh, I was too shocked. Only like 15 people in the church, but holy shit, i couldnt even think of anything to say to these moonbats

anyone else got any crazy ass stories like this about churchs or whatever?

I mean, I guess if thats what they want to do on their sunday mornins, more power to em. But godamn, me? Fuck - that - shit.

West Virginia is the only state in the country that its still legal to practice like this too, just learned that today actually.
User avatar
Gaazy
NT Deity
NT Deity
 
Posts: 5837
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 8:32 am
Location: West by god Virginia

Re: Snake Handlers!

Postby Tikker » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:29 pm

see, and from here praying to an effigy of some dead guy on a cross seems equally whacky
Tikker
NT Legend
NT Legend
 
Posts: 14294
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 5:22 pm

Re: Snake Handlers!

Postby Harrison » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:30 pm

Last I checked, crucifixes don't have fangs and a venomous bite.

There is definitely no comparison between the two.
How do you like this spoiler, motherfucker? -Lyion
User avatar
Harrison
NT Legend
NT Legend
 
Posts: 20323
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:13 am
Location: New Bedford, MA

Re: Snake Handlers!

Postby Tikker » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:31 pm

the danger quotient has nothing to do with what makes it odd
Tikker
NT Legend
NT Legend
 
Posts: 14294
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 5:22 pm

Re: Snake Handlers!

Postby Gaazy » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:35 pm

I know it has something to do with the Book of Mark. They kept quoting it and there was some picture on the wall with passages from it. If I heard them right they are a type of Baptist or some shit. /shrug either way, I reckon that was my last trip to the snake handler's ball. I just wanted to see what the hell they did, and about 15 minute of it was about as much as I could take. Shit, I didnt know they actually wrapped snakes around thier heads and all kinds of shit like that. this one old guy said he's been practicing it for 50+ years, and hes been bit 160 or so times rofl. His face was so scarred up that it looked like hed come out of war. He also said hed never gotten medical treatment not once. Fuckin crazy
User avatar
Gaazy
NT Deity
NT Deity
 
Posts: 5837
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 8:32 am
Location: West by god Virginia

Re: Snake Handlers!

Postby Evermore » Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:07 am

Tikker wrote:see, and from here praying to an effigy of some dead guy on a cross seems equally whacky



just about every religion has an effegy they use to represent their diety.
For you
Image
User avatar
Evermore
NT Deity
NT Deity
 
Posts: 4368
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2004 10:46 am

Re: Snake Handlers!

Postby Tikker » Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:43 am

and they're all odd, from an outsiders point of view
Tikker
NT Legend
NT Legend
 
Posts: 14294
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 5:22 pm

Re: Snake Handlers!

Postby Kramer » Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:28 am

Mark 16:17-18 records, “and these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will … will pick up snakes with their hands.”


it's a simple account of people taking the entire canon of the bible and focusing with blind precision on a single scripture..... and basing their religious/faith/spiritual expression around that scripture.

more mainline church gorups do it in more subtle ways, like allowing people to lie, steal, cheat, practice addictions, etc. without much, if any reprisal socially or religiously, and then holding marches to protest the singular issue of homosexuality and treating those who practice it as if they have the plague. :dunno:
Mindia is seriously the greatest troll that has ever lived.
    User avatar
    Kramer
    NT Traveller
    NT Traveller
     
    Posts: 3397
    Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 10:50 pm
    Location: tha doity sowf

    Re: Snake Handlers!

    Postby Martrae » Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:57 am

    I'm a seventh day advent hopist.

    My parent's bible had a mis-print in it.

    Faith, hop and charity. The greatest of these is hop.

    So we used to spend every sunday hopping. We were forced to hop everywhere. The worst part was that my mother insisted on serving soup every Sunday. . .
    Inside each person lives two wolves. One is loyal, kind, respectful, humble and open to the mystery of life. The other is greedy, jealous, hateful, afraid and blind to the wonders of life. They are in battle for your spirit. The one who wins is the one you feed.
    User avatar
    Martrae
    Admin Abuse Squad
    Admin Abuse Squad
     
    Posts: 11962
    Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:46 am
    Location: Georgia

    Re: Snake Handlers!

    Postby brinstar » Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:58 pm

    whoa what the fuck mart

    i'm coughing i just laughed so hard
    compost the rich
    User avatar
    brinstar
    Cat Crew
    Cat Crew
     
    Posts: 13142
    Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 1:45 pm
    Location: 402


    Return to Holy ... Discussion

    Who is online

    Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests