For those curious...

[Harrison]

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuse ... =503491782

This should be open to the public. It is fairly long but you guys did ask what happened and why my girlfriend left, etc.

Read it, or don't, whatever. I just know I feel 1000000X better now that people can judge for themselves what happened and not just take what she says as truth blindly.

It starts with bashing on an old friend, a real shitbag(I stopped being his friend long before she left me for him). Then it goes into my logs revealing what really happened.

She was going around telling people shit that wasn't true about me, to make it seem like she didn't leave me for this kid and that I am some sort of monster in comparison to him. It failed, hard. People come to me daily now, calls, messages, etc. saying things like, "I had no idea she did this. She said, X, and now I see it wasn't that at all."

I wouldn't have EVER done this had it just been a simple breakup and she didn't go around dragging people into it, making me look fucking evil so as to validate her current relationship.

[Harrison]

Yeah, never piss off, betray, and then try to lie about someone who has everything ever said to him by anyone online in a log on his hard drives.

I've never had to do this in all the years I've kept them.

[Gypsiyee]

oh, I want to read it but I have no internet at home due to moving and I don't get myspace at work.

poos.

[brinstar]

PHONE NUMBER WOOHOO

gonna tap that ass

[Harrison]

[Harrison]

oh, I want to read it but I have no internet at home due to moving and I don't get myspace at work.

poos.

I'll see if I can format it to show here as well as it does under my blog. (It's all color coded and shit)

[Harrison]

The lies people spread to feel better about their pathetic lives.
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuse ... =489805005

From losing 170 lbs. to waking up in the ICU to right now.
Current mood:Rampaging rape machine
It's been a roller coaster of a few weeks for me, anyone who knows me can agree on this I'm sure. But in retrospect I've learned some important things...Some are simple equations like this doesn't mix with that, others are more life lessons like if a girl messes around with your friends then they're probably untrustworthy whores, and some are just tidbits like how much I like the Pour Farm. Yeah, stuff like that.
Summer is here and I can finally shed this gross layer of skin that has accumulated over the last three years and remind the anus of the world who I am. I'll be focusing more on how fucking awesome I am and much less on how other people suck so much. All the missed opportunities to have a great time and experience new things are going to be revisited, all the shitty things are going to get dropped (most already have been), and all the possible tearing shit up will be torn the fuck up!
My liver is made of iron, my hearts made of ice, and my tongue is a combination of whip and atom bomb. Planet Earth and all of it's inhabitants please prepare to cry in a corner and hope a long hot shower will wash it all away (it won't).

Take a good long read of this joke. I'm going to point out the funnies.

"I've learned some important things...Some are simple equations like this doesn't mix with that"

Yeah, taking a bunch of pills after a heavy night of drinking in an attempt to kill yourself and being a complete failure, these things don't mix. How do you fail at that? LOL maybe fatty needed to take more pills or lose weight first?

"others are more life lessons like if a girl messes around with your friends then they're probably untrustworthy whores"

Now this is probably the best part, aside from his obvious over-compensation of "confidence" using words like rape and whatnot.

That quoted line is coming from the guy who was cheating on his old girlfriend every chance he got with Kristen for over a year. Telling Kristen he loves her and would leave her for her, lying all the while. Lol but SHE is the one untrustworthy? The best part is Ryan was bragging about it to his friends that he was fucking Kristen on the side, like it's some sort of accomplishment.

When his ex and I kissed one night at Adam's party(completely harmless for the following reason), he was fucking Kristen in the garage cheating on her, and then went up to New York with Kristen and cheated on her more lol The entire time SWEARING that nothing was going on and was only taking a vacation with a friend. You have some audacity trying to play it off like you're some trustworthy saint. No one with a brain would fall for it. Well, except Kristen for whatever retarded reason she thinks you've changed since your epic fail. She's just as dumb as anyone who listens to the lies she's spreading now to make me seem like some sort of monster, to make Ryan seem better in comparison.

You two scumbags are meant for each other. Lying, cheating, diseased, and worthless whores. (HPV is fun, isn't it? lawl)

Everyone's lives would be drastically improved if you weren't such a major failure that you couldn't even kill yourself properly you fat slob.

Now onto the whore who cheated on me and left me for Ryan Read, of all people after what he did to her lol she's such a genius.

This is from a blog she wrote after New Year's Eve:

"And finally, Josh. Wow I cannot believe we ended up here after all the bullshit. You met me at the worst of times and you stuck with me through everything. I could look for a hundred years and not find half the man that you are. Thank you thank you thank you for not ever giving up on me. You are absolutely amazing and i love you so much. <3 "

The "worst of times" was her being a homewrecking whore behind one of her best friend's back fucking her boyfriend for more than a year.(Ryan Read for those of you uninformed)

The reason it was bad was because she would hook up with me, tell me she liked, and even loved, me. Beg me not to walk home just so we could hang out, lay about together, etc. Then would disregard it saying she was just drunk, and that hurt me, bad. For some stupid reason I stuck around despite that. I thought she changed and was the good person I wrongly believed was in her.

WRONG

It is impossible for me to be more wrong about that judge of character. She went right back to being a cheating, lying, dirty, slut.

Now for texts during our fights over her talking to and hanging out with Ryan. This is where her lying comes out on fucking full-blast.

Oh man these are good! 06/01/09:

+15082870273 (1:45:55 AM): I'm not saying i trust him. I just think he needs friends right now and what he did well. . . I helped
semperf1delis (1:47:47 AM): No. If he needs friends he can fucking find new ones to hurt.
semperf1delis (1:48:35 AM): More than enough ample chances to apologize, reconcile, etc. squandered. He doesn't feel remorse. He doesn't care about anyone
+15082870273 (1:48:37 AM): It's not always that simple. And what can he do to us now. Nothing
semperf1delis (1:54:04 AM): This really isn't worth talking about for us hun.
semperf1delis (1:54:45 AM): I wouldn't in a million years thought this kid would ever be brought up and cause so much stress between us
+15082870273 (1:55:10 AM): It is if you're going to be mad every time i talk to him
semperf1delis (1:56:34 AM): Well I can't stop it. I have really been thinking all night of ways to remove him from my life in every way but murder
+15082870273 (1:57:57 AM): We don't have to talk about him but it means you need to let it go when i talk to him

At this point I told Ryan to stop talking to my girlfriend because it was very obvious to me what he was doing. He is a slimy fat slob and was warned.

+15082870273 (11:37:59 AM):If you did tell him to back off you're going to look like an idiot since i started talking to him first and it's not like he's persuing me. *Rolls eyes*

Let's dig more up!

06/05/09:

+15082870273 (1:08:51 AM): What is the issue with you not liking one of my friends
semperf1delis (1:09:28 AM): If you're really going to play this off as just "some friend" this conversation is already over
+15082870273 (1:11:09 AM): Well at this point it is

That was a mere two weeks before she cheated on me with him and left me for him.

This was shortly after those, same night:


semperf1delis (1:19:41 AM): Oh you are. Don't even try to act like you aren't. "People can change" blah blah blah
+15082870273 (1:22:25 AM): Hello i'm living proof
semperf1delis (1:22:59 AM): Don't even try to pull that again either
+15082870273 (1:23:19 AM): It's true
semperf1delis (1:23:30 AM): No. It's not.
+15082870273 (1:24:10 AM): It is i don't think you know how far gone i was.
semperf1delis (1:26:31 AM): Or I don't agree
+15082870273 (1:27:23 AM): It doesn't matter. I didn't give a shit about anyone but me
semperf1delis (1:28:58 AM): You still weren't a piece of shit
semperf1delis (1:29:05 AM): and I knew that.
+15082870273 (1:29:37 AM): And i changed
semperf1delis (1:30:47 AM): Not to the extent where I'm talking
+15082870273 (1:32:27 AM): I was. You got screwed over once by me. There were people who got it over and over and over. I changed because i was sick of hurting people. Because i
+15082870273 (1:32:37 AM): I was. You got screwed over once by me. There were people who got it over and over and over. I changed because i was sick of hurting people. Because i
+15082870273 (1:32:46 AM): didn't care who i hurt as long as it felt good for me.
semperf1delis (1:33:58 AM): I don't care either way. I can see people for what they are after a time
semperf1delis (1:34:12 AM): Some people are worthless.
semperf1delis (1:36:44 AM): Some people get more chances than they're worth to prove otherwise
+15082870273 (1:37:11 AM): Some people just need a chance. If i'm wrong i'll be the first one to admit it. I'm just asking you to give him one more chance. For me
+15082870273 (1:37:59 AM): And i know it's a lot to ask. But i'm asking anyway
semperf1delis (1:38:20 AM): I've given him more than I even want to admit. It's embarrassing. I don't usually fuck up that many times.
+15082870273 (1:42:31 AM): I will be the first to admit i'm wrong. But i think he should get one more. I'm willing to give it. And whether or not you are i wish you would respect that
semperf1delis (1:47:35 AM): You can't turn this into a Me vs. You thing.
semperf1delis (1:47:40 AM): It doesn't work that way.
+15082870273 (1:48:02 AM): That's what it is essentially
+15082870273 (1:50:04 AM): It does
+15082870273 (1:51:46 AM): But regardless of the bullshit i love Josh more than anything and hanging out with you won't change that. So all that's left is to decide when we're going.
semperf1delis (1:51:46 AM): If you're really going to change Me vs. Shitbag into Me vs. You...I see this is fucking pointless
+15082870273 (1:52:17 AM): Wow. Sorry wrong text you texted right when i was sending
semperf1delis (1:52:53 AM): Yeah, how convenient
+15082870273 (1:53:53 AM): Babe. Look. You have nothing to worry about. I'm giving him a second chance. I think he can change and if he doesn't then i'll e wrong
+15082870273 (1:54:21 AM): But can you find it in you to give him one more with me?
+15082870273 (1:54:43 AM): And btw i didn't stage that i actually said that to him
semperf1delis (1:55:33 AM): I can't do it. I've been made to look the fool too often. He didn't change. Not enough for it to matter.
+15082870273 (1:56:17 AM): There was a bit of a life altering circumstance this time. . .
+15082870273 (1:57:17 AM): Plus he can't fuck us over anymore than he has. It's all in the past i have you and you have me and what else could he possibly do to hurt us
semperf1delis (2:00:03 AM): I live on principles. Standing by them is all but who I am. It's what my close friends know about me. I stand by them.
semperf1delis (2:00:49 AM): He goes against everything I am. He's had his chances. He's hurt me and others. He cares not what he does to anyone.
semperf1delis (2:00:52 AM): This hasn't changed.
+15082870273 (2:01:32 AM): I have principles too and one of them is forgiveness. 'To err is human. To forgive, divine'
semperf1delis (2:02:02 AM): Yeah, and to forgive someone more than once and have it thrown back in your face? What response then?
+15082870273 (2:02:48 AM): What could he throw at you now?
semperf1delis (2:03:46 AM): Just the fucking idea that up in his twisted pathetic mind he got away with all this, turns my stomach into a knot.
+15082870273 (2:03:46 AM): Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here
+15082870273 (2:05:13 AM): Fuck his mind. All that matters to me is how i feel about it. Jesus forgave the ones who nailed him to the cross. Life isn't always good or bad baby


Oh holy shit the massive amount of lying in there is ridiculous. I apologize for the length of all this but she is spreading lies about me and I feel the need to straighten out the facts. She is such a despicable human being now it boggles my mind how quick she was to fuck me over for him after saying all that.

More from the same night:

semperf1delis (2:46:17 AM): Never in a million years would I have guessed ryan read would be the fucking wedge between us but, I guess it's only fitting
+15082870273 (2:47:05 AM): There shouldn't even be a wedge. You'rE making it into a big thing when it shouldn't even matter
+15082870273 (2:48:21 AM): I love YOU. I want YOU. Wtf does it matter who i'm friends with. Not even hang out with but talk to

Keep that part in mind, "Not even hang out with but talk to". It's important for when she springs it onto me that she's going to go hang out with him at his house. (Where she ends up sleeping...fucking cheating, lying whore.)

+15082870273 (3:02:05 AM): You can't compare to him because you are more than he could ever aspire to be. I'd give you a thousand chances. But you'd never give me a reason to have to and
+15082870273 (3:02:35 AM): I love you exponentially more than i ever thought i loved him

Lol she just can't stop the lying!


+15082870273 (3:42:19 AM): You talk like i cheated on you with him and you hate me for it. It breaks my heart every time you say something like it
+15082870273 (3:42:57 AM): Because i would never. Could never.
semperf1delis (3:43:09 AM): No, it just tears me up inside that you even talk to him. The very idea makes me shake
+15082870273 (3:43:31 AM): Why.
semperf1delis (3:43:45 AM): It. Angers. Me.
+15082870273 (3:43:53 AM): We don't have to agree on our friends

LOL that's probably the best one. Still the same night, two weeks before she cheated on me with him.

This next bit is later that night after we had both gone to bed and I had done some moving for a friend:



semperf1delis (10:18:30 PM): Lol you really thought I didn't want to hang out because I was mad at you?
+15082870273 (10:18:55 PM): . . .maybe
semperf1delis (10:21:10 PM): *sigh* :..
+15082870273 (10:23:11 PM): Why sigh
semperf1delis (10:23:45 PM): Because I wouldn't do that
+15082870273 (10:25:27 PM): I know baby i just still feel really bad
semperf1delis (10:27:43 PM): Well don't...it's not like I handled it particularly well either
+15082870273 (10:28:49 PM): I hate fighting with you. =/
semperf1delis (10:29:40 PM): I know. I hate it too
+15082870273 (10:31:54 PM): I just didn't want you to be upset with me anymore.
semperf1delis (10:32:31 PM): I can't stay mad very long
+15082870273 (10:33:09 PM): Sometimes i think you are mad at me for days. . .
semperf1delis (10:33:31 PM): Lol no, that happened what, once?
+15082870273 (10:34:40 PM): No just like even when you don't say you're mad i feel like you are
semperf1delis (10:35:34 PM): Lol no hun
+15082870273 (10:37:20 PM): Well i know that now.
semperf1delis (10:38:17 PM): How come you never said anything?
+15082870273 (10:39:02 PM): Because i don't like to bring that stuff up. I figure it'll just go away
semperf1delis (10:39:48 PM): Hun...don't do that. What could I possibly be mad at for days at a time?
+15082870273 (10:40:15 PM): I dunno
semperf1delis (10:41:03 PM): Lol you're supposed to ask me these things...
+15082870273 (10:41:52 PM): But it's ok now
semperf1delis (10:42:55 PM): Still, you should feel like you're able to ask me these things...
+15082870273 (10:48:04 PM): I don't like to talk about all stuff like that. I just hope it'll all go away
semperf1delis (10:50:32 PM): Lol don't do that hun. I'd rather you talk to me about it
+15082870273 (10:50:32 PM): Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here
+15082870273 (10:51:32 PM): I'd rather not make a big deal out of our fights
semperf1delis (10:52:48 PM): Well apparently you thought I was mad when I wasn't...that's not good
+15082870273 (10:53:54 PM): It's just sometimes after we fight you don't say much of anything and it makes me think you're angry
semperf1delis (10:56:13 PM): If it's immediately after, like minutes...probably. But never the next day, so far.
+15082870273 (10:56:53 PM): Well ok. Next time i'll ask you
semperf1delis (10:58:53 PM): Lol please do, I don't want you thinking I'm mad all the time
+15082870273 (10:59:44 PM): Ok. I love you baby <3


But now she tells people I was emotionally abusive...go figure, right? Those sure do seem like the words of an emotionally abusive boyfriend whose girlfriend is going behind his back with another man, huh? Right.

Now back to the lies. Reading through pages of logs is depressing me like you wouldn't fucking believe. Seeing the transformation from the Kristen I loved into this disgusting, cheating, whore she is now.

June 16th, this is when she goes against her previous statement about not hanging out with him ever and only talking to him.

+15082870273 (6:18:28 PM): Hey babe?
+15082870273 (6:22:46 PM): I just wanted to tell you i cancelled my plans with ryan and told him i had a family situation. I would like to talk to him so hopefully you'll be more
+15082870273 (6:23:22 PM): comfortable after we all hang out. But i didn't want you to be mad at me so i cancelled.
semperf1delis (8:07:35 PM): Sorry, I was trying to sleep on the couch all day. Didn't quite work. At least it feels like I did
+15082870273 (8:07:35 PM): Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here
+15082870273 (8:07:58 PM): =/ huh
semperf1delis (8:13:06 PM): I was apologizing for not answering you at 6:23
+15082870273 (8:13:28 PM): It's ok

...mere hours later, and you can definitely see that after a month+ of fighting about this fat fuck, that I am tired of it and had enough.

+15082870273 (10:27:28 PM): Babe don't get mad but i am going to hang out with ryan for a bit. I won't be out late. I love you.
semperf1delis (10:27:36 PM): ...
+15082870273 (10:27:36 PM): Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here
+15082870273 (10:28:05 PM): Would you rather i didn't tell you
semperf1delis (10:28:32 PM): Well you don't need to if I don't want to talk to you now do you?
+15082870273 (10:29:25 PM): Baby i thought we talked about this. Omission is a form of lying
semperf1delis (10:29:40 PM): Yeah and it's clear you don't care what I feel so just go.
+15082870273 (10:30:10 PM): I'm already on my way
semperf1delis (10:32:33 PM): What the fuck ever
+15082870273 (10:33:08 PM): I'll text you when i get home ok? I love you <3
semperf1delis (10:35:13 PM): Don't bother, be out all night and all day for all I care
semperf1delis (10:35:50 PM): Have fun hanging out with Ryan all week
+15082870273 (10:35:52 PM): You don't mean that so i'll text. Love you
+15082870273 (10:36:31 PM): Baby. I love you
semperf1delis (10:37:12 PM): I love you too and I do mean that.
+15082870273 (10:39:31 PM): =(
semperf1delis (10:40:13 PM): I don't want to hear it. Just go
+15082870273 (10:40:36 PM): Sigh.
+15082870273 (10:44:28 PM): Adam's here if that makes you feel better
semperf1delis (10:46:43 PM): No, I don't care.

06/19/09: And the cheating begins! dun dun dun


semperf1delis (3:11:52 PM): I can't believe you stayed there
+15082870273 (3:12:29 PM): Of course i did. I wasn't driving.
semperf1delis (3:13:32 PM): No, of course not. Not when it would make sense to do so.
semperf1delis (3:13:49 PM): Earlier in the night was obviously the better course. Drive home with him alone and then stay there while ignoring your boyfriend
+15082870273 (3:14:06 PM): And we bought a ton of alcohol. We were drinking more
semperf1delis (3:14:23 PM): That makes me feel so much fucking better
+15082870273 (3:14:47 PM): I said i'm sorry. There's nothing else i can say
semperf1delis (3:15:51 PM): After all that I really don't think you're sorry. You went out of your way to hurt me as much as possible in the worst way
+15082870273 (3:16:16 PM): I really am sorry =/
semperf1delis (3:20:49 PM): I don't want to be mad at you but I can't help it
+15082870273 (3:23:31 PM): Well be mad at me for awhile then and when dani leaves i won't be hanging out with him as much
semperf1delis (3:24:00 PM): Why do you have to at all? Seriously. I can't fucking deal with that. Especially after last night
semperf1delis (3:24:25 PM): You even told me you never would.
+15082870273 (3:24:31 PM): I didn't say i have to.
+15082870273 (3:25:01 PM): But i always have fun
+15082870273 (3:25:33 PM): Yes i remember that. But i don't feel the same about it anymore
semperf1delis (3:25:43 PM): We're always going to have a problem as long as you keep doing this
+15082870273 (3:26:38 PM): Well then after Dani leaves it'll pretty much stop. But not while she's here.

Later in the day, some key points in here.


+15082870273 (7:07:33 PM): I'm not trying to make you feel like anything. But you did pretty much ruin my weekend and Dani's visit. So thanks for the ultimatum. It was great
semperf1delis (7:07:59 PM): I ruined it?! Me? Really
+15082870273 (7:08:48 PM): Um yeah? You and your ultimatum
semperf1delis (7:09:36 PM): No. Ryan's existence as an untrustworthy, proven piece of shit is what ruined it.
semperf1delis (7:10:32 PM): If he wasn't such a terrible human being I wouldn't have a problem with you all hanging out at all, hell I'd encourage it.
+15082870273 (7:11:09 PM): Nah that just ruined his friendships. Your ultimatum ruined Dani's visit and my weekend. Because apparently me hanging out with someone you dislike is too much
+15082870273 (7:11:38 PM): What do you think his being a bad person is gonna do to me?
semperf1delis (7:12:07 PM): It's caused all of this. Every bit of it, and he fucking loves it.
+15082870273 (7:13:26 PM): But it's not going to like rub off on me or something. And it would've been a nice slap in his face when i stopped hanging out on my own accord.
semperf1delis (7:14:55 PM): I can't stand the idea of you two hanging out. It kills me.
+15082870273 (7:15:18 PM): Yeah but why baby.
semperf1delis (7:15:58 PM): It just does. I now have the image of you standing next to him, choosing him over me from last night. I can't get rid of that
+15082870273 (7:16:47 PM): You will never give me a reason will you?
semperf1delis (7:17:11 PM): It brings back memories I wish to never remember
semperf1delis (7:17:58 PM): and him thinking he's got away with all the shit he did, sickens me, literally. I get physically sick when I think about it
+15082870273 (7:18:00 PM): Me hanging out with him gives you bad memories? You're not even there. Sigh
semperf1delis (7:19:13 PM): He's lucky he's even fucking alive right now after what he said. Any other person would have ended him where I had him.
+15082870273 (7:19:22 PM): Well he's not getting away with shit. I just wish you could've let me walk out on my own. And not because you just threatened to break up with me
semperf1delis (7:20:04 PM): I just think that's what would have ended up happening if you hung out with him all weekend, so I cut out the middle man
+15082870273 (7:20:13 PM): That's besides the point of what i just said
semperf1delis (7:20:18 PM): It would have bothered me too much
+15082870273 (7:21:01 PM): What would've happened?
semperf1delis (7:21:32 PM): I don't think I could have stuck around if you had continued to hang out with him after all this
+15082870273 (7:22:27 PM): For Dani's sake tho. Not because i wanted to see him.
semperf1delis (7:23:06 PM): Then what was your excuse before she even got here?
+15082870273 (7:23:39 PM): I hung out with him once to talk. That's it
semperf1delis (7:24:05 PM): When you said you never would might I add
+15082870273 (7:25:08 PM): One time babe. Once. To talk. I had no intention of hanging out with him when she's not around.

What she didn't know was that I knew about her bringing him food and hanging out with him at this point long before she "told me", and telling people to lie about it for her so I wouldn't find out. The depth of her lies really do amaze me. This is 2 days before she leaves me for him.

06/20/09: I take back the ultimatum I gave her that If she continues to hang out with Ryan, I will leave her. It hurt my feelings too much and she kept doing it. But I decided that if it was important to her, that she could continue to do so. The "ultimatum" lasted less than 12 hours. Some of my responses were made on my phone and so they are not visible, but you can see her responses, and get the idea. I told her to just do what she wanted to, because it was important to her to forgive and forget.

+15082870273 (11:59:58 AM): I won't hang out with him if the consequence is losing you
+15082870273 (12:03:32 PM): Altho it'd be nice if you made up your damn mind since we were all supposed to go to the beach today and now i'm sitting alone.
+15082870273 (12:03:58 PM): It probably won't matter. Pretty sure ryan's angry with me now anyway.
+15082870273 (12:16:14 PM): Ok so what is the verdict
semperf1delis (12:16:40 PM): I can't leave you. You're all I have :..
semperf1delis (12:16:48 PM): Even if this bothers me
+15082870273 (12:17:08 PM): If you're telling me i can i'm going to
semperf1delis (12:18:41 PM): Just go, I can't handle this right now.
+15082870273 (12:19:05 PM): Thank you. I love you
semperf1delis (12:19:53 PM): I love you too. Call me if you need me
+15082870273 (12:20:13 PM): I will

The very next night 06/21/09, she left me. She was up until 5am drinking at her house with Ryan. She then made me go to her family cookout and was EXTREMELY fucking mean to me all day. Then when she dropped me off, when we were supposed to talk these things through like adults. She left me. Know where she was a few minutes later? After she broke up with me and not shedding a single fucking tear doing so after ending a 7month relationship? Ryan's work. Mere minutes later. Fucking slut.

So I apologize for the length of this, but it should be pretty enlightening to those of you who aren't aware of the truth. There's obviously a lot more to the fucked-up situation that isn't in here because the texts are stored on my cell phone, but you get the idea.

Don't blindly believe something someone says without first seeing both sides of the story, or at least entertaining a listen to both.

She went behind my back with the guy who was using her for sex to cheat on his girlfriend for over a year. His ex who finally got smart enough to leave that fat cheating slob.

So people can stop asking me now, "what happened?"

That's what happened. My amazing, loyal, faithful, caring girlfriend was only a temporary change in character. She reverted back into a dirty whore who doesn't give a fuck about anyone's feelings but her own like she said she used to be herself.

She tells people she left me because I have a temper. Anyone who knows me should be laughing their asses off right now.

She tells people she left me because I was miserable all the time. Then she runs straight to a fat, alcoholic who just attempted suicide. Tell me that isn't complete bullshit lol I was never happier in my life as I was this year before she fucked me over.

She tells people I "was a shitty emotionally abusive boyfriend who gave her ultimatums". That ultimatum didn't survive a single night. I didn't turn "mean" until she started to go behind my back and subsequently cheat on me and leave me for him. I was hurt and lashed out.

You can lie to me and others all you want. God knows what you did.

...and hopefully with this little aid here, some others are now aware of what you did. I didn't fake any of these texts, edit the words, anything of the sort. I just changed the colors and sizes for emphasis here and there. The facts speak for themselves. Your lies are transparent.

[Harrison]

It isn't as colorfully spread out as it is in my blog. I had it edited with colors for the log parts, and others for my comments, sizes for emphasis of important statements etc.

Owell...

I would like to add that in the entire relationship we never fought once. We got along perfectly, all 7 months, until the last 3 weeks or so when Ryan came into the picture.

I let her hang out with, talk to, whatever, with whoever she wanted. Not with Ryan.

He used to be one of my friends, I know how he thinks and what he's capable of. He is a manipulative slimy snake. (One that she used to fuck too, as you now know. She also had feelings for him while he played her for a fool using her for sex.) I was the one there to help her through his shitting on her heart, hard. She was in a very bad place last year.

[Ginzburgh]

Take out the swearing and this could be the script for the next MTV teen "reality" show.

[Harrison]

I think my life is God's experiment to see how far he can push a man before he either:
A) Kills someone
B) Kills himself
C) Kills someone and then himself
D) Kills Him

lol

[Gypsiyee]

Okay.. don't get mad because I can't see but so much of the situation - I can understand the jealousy because I'm a jealous person, and I can understand not wanting her to hang out with someone she used to boink, especially if it was in an unfaithful situation - but how do you actually know she cheated on you? I mean she's with the guy now, right? But are you sure she actually cheated on you with him?

Playing devil's advocate, is it possible that you saying you didn't want her to hang out with him only drove her to do it more often? I mean it's definitely readily apparent that she didn't care about you nearly as much as she let on, but this seems like a pretty common situation.

I know it hurts, but cest la vie - this situation or another, that girl was leaving eventually - not necessarily because she's a whore (because I can't really deduce that from anything fairly) but because she just didn't care about you as much as you cared about her. She's just not ready to put her big girl britches on and deal with things like a grown up, and it looks like you have trust issues either with her or in general (not an insult - I'll regretfully admit that I'm the same way.)

Is this the same girl you were with a couple years ago? Like I see where she says she f'ed you over once - what was that about?

Out of curiosity, what did the guy do before that makes you hate him so much?

PS - wtf with the jesus forgave the crucifiers bullshit?

[leah]

in before the first tl;dr? :P

harrison, i really feel for you, and agree with a lot of what gyps just said--homegirl was on her way out the door no matter what, and your jealous feelings about this guy probably just provided her with a springboard to get out without looking bad (little did she know, lol). which sucks, because i would've felt the same way if i were you--if josh wanted to go hang out with some girl he used to hook up with and was acting all shady about it, i would flip shit. just like he would probably be upset if i went to hang out with He Who Shall Not Be Named and was sneaky about it.

at any rate, you're better off, imo.

[Harrison]

Like I said, I never stopped her from hanging out with anyone, ever. It only upset me when it was with him towards the end and even then I never told her not to.

I only told her I would leave her if she kept hanging out with him after I felt like it was the only thing left to do. Even then, that was her cousin's idea as well. I was just going to keep trying to appeal to her saying it hurt my feelings. (and it was, a lot) She just didn't care and kept doing it.

She hung out with her ex boyfriend all the time. I never even blinked at the thought. I trusted her entirely. She could do whatever she wanted at all times with whoever.

The only problem that presented itself was when she wanted to hang out with this sleazebag after he "tried to kill himself". (I still say it was a cry for attention and he knew exactly what he was doing.)

I didn't have trust issues.(I do now.) I don't have jealousy issues. My friends always made fun of me for letting her do whatever she wanted like I did. They said shit like, "That would be the day I let my girl hang out with her ex boyfriend without me there...".

I don't see the point in having a relationship if you can't trust your partner entirely. *shrug* I'm a weirdo.

I had untrustworthy sleazebag slithering his way in and fucking shit up issues however, and I'm not just saying this so I have someone to blame. It's just observational fact.

Edited additions: I know she was on her way out no matter what, and I think the fact it looked like it was going so well, and it looked permanent started to weigh in on her. I was willing to stay with her after training, through deployments, made very good friends with her family, etc. etc. I think it sent her running back to her partying whorish ways because she's still young. That's my guess anyways. (not that 25 is much older than recently turned 21, but...ya know, whatever.)

There's no way in hell she's fucking stupid enough to think he changed and is suddenly capable of a monogamous relationship, and that she'd be better off with him than me. She's smarter than that.

[Harrison]

The very, very, very worst part of all of this is that if she came to me needing help I'd still not hesitate to do so. I wish I could just write her off entirely. I can't bring myself to do it, though.

I still think in there somewhere is the woman I fell in love with.

I didn't catch her physically cheating on me, I was told of it.

She DID emotionally cheat on me though. That is the same exact thing in my eyes. Sex is only sex, and if she physically cheated on me and told me, I could deal with that. I'd be angry of course but I wouldn't have left her.

Exploring her feelings for him while she was still with me, is despicable and worse in my eyes. She did both, though. So it's irrelevant.

[Jay]

After reading all that, I can say that I don't KNOW she cheated on Harrison, but I'd bet whole paychecks on the fact that she did. It's fairly simple to understand.

Sorry Harri. Love sucks sometimes bro, but you can only hope that this doesn't happen next time and just move on. Now, I dunno what kind of attitude you really had around her, but my attitude with women in my life has generally always been the same since after college. Do what you want, I'll never object, but I might not be there when you get back. This rule applied to all the women I've ever been involved with, whether I loved them or not. I would make it very clear what I was ok with and not comfortable with, and left it up to them on whether or not they wanted to cross those lines. One has to compromise somewhat to make relationships work, but at the end of the day if shes consistently crossing into that territory she knows makes you uncomfortable and knows that you don't approve of, then its time to pack it up and stick with your guns, even if you love her. To me, cheating aside, that was a clear sign of disrespect. Not just to you, but to his gf at the time. When people who don't ask for much finally make a demand, it's usually pretty reasonable. If she couldn't respect you enough to not hang out with a known cheating slimeball then what happens when you have to make a stance on kids, money, moving etc etc.

One particular line of this whole conversation sort of bothered me.

semperf1delis (12:16:40 PM): I can't leave you. You're all I have :..
semperf1delis (12:16:48 PM): Even if this bothers me

In case you haven't realized it by now, you're wrong. Even if you couldn't claim a single friend in the entire world, you have you. Of all the times the world has shit on your face (some I believe, some I think you're just complaining unreasonably), you're still the same egotistical shitbag you've always been, and that says a lot. You know what you are and have been ok with living and moving in the direction that you do, just don't leave that at the door when you get to the next relationship. Next time be ready to accept single life if a girl pushes your buttons too much, even if you love her. If she knows you can do that much, she won't push em as much.

[Harrison]

I would make it very clear what I was ok with and not comfortable with, and left it up to them on whether or not they wanted to cross those lines.

That's exactly how it was. I tried to make this relationship as open as possible. She would sometimes hold back things, but I think that was out of habit. (Like when she thought I was angry with her, sometimes for days...? WTF that never even happened. She never asked because she didn't want to make it bigger than it was lol) She wasn't accustomed to having someone who was always up-front about everything.

What you said about not being there if they did something you disagreed with? I don't believe in that. People make mistakes. The good FAR outweighed the bad. Even now.

I know it sounds fucking stupid, but if she ever fully admits to everything and asks for forgiveness, she'll probably get it from me at some point. I just want honesty. The 6 months of good in the relationship were honestly better than the previous 24 years of my life, combined.

[Harrison]

Yeah, so I told him to stop talking to her. Tried to reconcile it, and that's what happened.

That isn't my "proof" of her cheating on me either. I have other sources for that night.

Edit for the attentive: the reason in the file path it says "Justin" is I am using his computer since mine died and I gave away the spare parts when I was leaving for Basic.

[Jay]

I would make it very clear what I was ok with and not comfortable with, and left it up to them on whether or not they wanted to cross those lines.

That's exactly how it was. I tried to make this relationship as open as possible. She would sometimes hold back things, but I think that was out of habit. (Like when she thought I was angry with her, sometimes for days...? WTF that never even happened. She never asked because she didn't want to make it bigger than it was lol) She wasn't accustomed to having someone who was always up-front about everything.

What you said about not being there if they did something you disagreed with? I don't believe in that. People make mistakes. The good FAR outweighed the bad. Even now.

I know it sounds fucking stupid, but if she ever fully admits to everything and asks for forgiveness, she'll probably get it from me at some point. I just want honesty. The 6 months of good in the relationship were honestly better than the previous 24 years of my life, combined.

Well, it's not like a one and done thing. People DO make mistakes and in a committed relationship we learn to forgive, however, if someone constantly tramples on the things I hold important to me, then I choose to leave. Also, sure, maybe you've been happier with her than you have with the previous 24 years of your life, but that doesn't give her license to abuse your trust and that doesn't mean that there isn't better and that you can't have it. Look ahead and base your decisions on future happiness, not past happiness.

The way I see it, you were in love with this girl. You might have been expecting and looking forward to a few more years, maybe marriage who knows. The second she kept pressing the issue of staying around this jerkoff, she essentially started grating away at your future happiness and it would have gone that on like and become worse had there not been an end to it. As soon as a problem like that shows up, either you both fix it or gtfo because shit certainly won't get better until it's resolved. Once that growth stops, it's no longer worth sticking around no matter how good things WERE.

[Harrison]

Yeah, I see what you're getting at.

I really do wish he had died instead of failed his suicide attempt. It's the most evil thought sitting in my head, and it doesn't go away.

I've moved past wanting to reduce him into a bloody lump of shit, though. That's good. I just wouldn't stop a smile if he died right this second by some other means.

Her on the other hand..
Despite everything I've said I can't hate her entirely.

[Jay]

Yeah, I see what you're getting at.

I really do wish he had died instead of failed his suicide attempt. It's the most evil thought sitting in my head, and it doesn't go away.

I've moved past wanting to reduce him into a bloody lump of shit, though. That's good. I just wouldn't stop a smile if he died right this second by some other means.

Her on the other hand..
Despite everything I've said I can't hate her entirely.

Well I don't expect you to hate her. Even if the relationship is past, you can still hang on to good memories and lessons that she's been a part of. If you can move ahead and not hate her, great. More hate is bad right? If you have to hate her to move on, I really don't see a problem with that either, as long as you're moving on.

It's not as easy as it sounds, but eventually you'll meet someone you're into just as much as you were into this girl, cept now you're armed with previous experience. It only gets better from here but it will be worse for a little bit before it gets stable then better.

[Gypsiyee]

I would make it very clear what I was ok with and not comfortable with, and left it up to them on whether or not they wanted to cross those lines.

That's exactly how it was. I tried to make this relationship as open as possible. She would sometimes hold back things, but I think that was out of habit. (Like when she thought I was angry with her, sometimes for days...? WTF that never even happened. She never asked because she didn't want to make it bigger than it was lol) She wasn't accustomed to having someone who was always up-front about everything.

What you said about not being there if they did something you disagreed with? I don't believe in that. People make mistakes. The good FAR outweighed the bad. Even now.

I know it sounds fucking stupid, but if she ever fully admits to everything and asks for forgiveness, she'll probably get it from me at some point. I just want honesty. The 6 months of good in the relationship were honestly better than the previous 24 years of my life, combined.

Well, it's not like a one and done thing. People DO make mistakes and in a committed relationship we learn to forgive, however, if someone constantly tramples on the things I hold important to me, then I choose to leave. Also, sure, maybe you've been happier with her than you have with the previous 24 years of your life, but that doesn't give her license to abuse your trust and that doesn't mean that there isn't better and that you can't have it. Look ahead and base your decisions on future happiness, not past happiness.

The way I see it, you were in love with this girl. You might have been expecting and looking forward to a few more years, maybe marriage who knows. The second she kept pressing the issue of staying around this jerkoff, she essentially started grating away at your future happiness and it would have gone that on like and become worse had there not been an end to it. As soon as a problem like that shows up, either you both fix it or gtfo because shit certainly won't get better until it's resolved. Once that growth stops, it's no longer worth sticking around no matter how good things WERE.

this.

wow, how old is that guy? he has the mental capacity of a 5 year old.

Josh, you're already mentally forgiving her for this stuff and justifying it as a means to open the door for future possibilities with her. Why?

I was just playing devil's advocate to get some more details cuz I like to have the whole story if I'm going to offer an opinion. The thing is, if you were that trusting in your relationship and let her do what she wanted to do (and I agree, trust is essential for a successful relationship - but it's earned, not given) then she's absolutely completely out of line and certainly doesn't deserve your forgiveness, for relationship purposes anyway. The thing about people who get shady about hanging out with cheating shitbags of the opposite sex is that they usually have a bit of cheating shitbag in them too. If she was willing to fool around with this guy while he had a girlfriend, she'd be willing to fool around with him while she has a boyfriend. People don't change. They might change their behavior, mannerisms, or try to be better for the sake of other people, but who they are is who they are at their core and they aren't going to just become someone they're not.

Stand your ground - what she did with him is no better than what he did to make you hate him so much, so why is she so much more forgivable than he is?

[Harrison]

Before we were together, he did a lot of shit to other friends of mine that I took seriously.

Dumping cups of piss on some, fucking up their houses at parties(Kristen's coincidentally), putting false ads on craigslist about giving away people's stuff and to walk through the front door to take it(very fucking dangerous), etc. etc.

The list would literally give me carpal tunnel. I've never met a worse person in my life.

He is quite possibly a sociopath.

[Tossica]

I don't know man. After about 2 days of that shit, I'd a cut the bitch loose.

[Harrison]

Despite what many would be lead to believe here, I have the patience and understanding of a saint. I'm not stirred very easily at all.

You could walk up to me on the streets, punch me in the face, and I'd just look at you asking why you did it.

[Drem]

semperf1delis (12:16:40 PM): I can't leave you. You're all I have :..
semperf1delis (12:16:48 PM): Even if this bothers me

In case you haven't realized it by now, you're wrong. Even if you couldn't claim a single friend in the entire world, you have you.

No shit. You're basically revealing weakness when you say stuff like that to women in the middle of arguments and stuff. Hopeless romantics don't make it very far these days