Question for the masses

[Trielelvan]

Sorry for the length. This one's a doozy...
I can't think of another place where I'm going to get a more honest bunch of answers from every side of this question, and I really want to get as many people's takes on this as possible, so here you go.

So, I have a friend who has a sister whom I am "friended" with (yes, as in facebook, but irl as well). We have always gotten along, known each other for 15+ years, and, so I thought, have been fairly good friends.

This person, and her husband (who at some point de-friended me, though I have no idea when or why as he and I have always gotten along as well), have been seeking to "re-identify" themselves with their white heritage by becoming involved with certain Christian identist groups, as well as a white pride group.

Fine. I understand that, especially since they live out east where that's heavily regarded still.
They pulled their kids out of the school they were in because the teachers were teaching "white guilt" in class as a matter of "racial balance"... which to me is absolutely insane in general, let alone to be taught in a school.
They wanted to be surrounded by like-minded people who were proud of their white ethnicity. I have no issue with that in any way, and applauded them for standing up for their rights and wanting to rediscover just who they are and where their lineage is from. I am always for that.

That said...

It has recently come to my attention that this has gone beyond a reasonable identity issue. The people she is now associating and becoming actively involved with are devout members of the Aryan brotherhood, other white power groups, neo nazis, and, as is evident by one person's lovely picture of the rebel flag emblazoned with "White Power! Ku Klux Klan!" and an Iron Cross, the KKK.
She has started leaving anecdotes in German and signing things 14/88 (for those going wtf, put simply it stands the 14 words of a white power oath, and 88 = Heil Hitler)

Now, I am all for diversity, freedom of religion/belief/etc and being proud of who and what you are.
Despite my despise of ANY racist power group, they are free to believe whatever they believe and... whatever.

However...

She is friended. With. ME. Hello???

I am completely divided on whether or not I should say something to her regarding this. I mean, all the talk about blood traitors and keeping the Aryan blood clean by these new friends of hers... I, and my children (whom she has personally met and had her kids play with), are abominations by their standards (which I don't give two flying fucks about. They can kiss my twinkie yellow ass), and my husband, who is really as Aryan as they get - Norweigian and German 2nd gen to the USA - is a blood traitor for marrying and having kids with me.

- One part of me feels that I should be completely offended by what she is making public right in front of me, which my husband not only agrees with, but is fiercely adamant about my rightly feeling so. Some of these people are very vocal about how every non-white in this country should either move or be killed off, lest they contaminate their blood.
I see the things said in her posts, and shake my head thinking "...and I was gonna let you stay in my house???"

- The other part of me just feels sorry for what she's bringing her own children into with this, but it's her right and if she feels it's right, who am I to judge anything? Let it be. She hasn't tried to snub me off. She hasn't not talked to me, and if this is what she needs, so be it. I know they have gone through rough times, and also know that there is a very tight-knit family mentality and camaraderie that comes with some of these groups, especially the KKK.
I can't control what she does with her life, and I care very much about her and her family. So just... ignore it. Right?

I'm just very... hurt. And confused. I see all the things being posted and talked about, and I can't help but wonder how exactly I fit into her friendship circle now? How can she be involved with all of this, and still call herself my friend? I don't understand it at all.

The question is: should I be feeling offended? Do I have any right to feel offended in any way? (0.o)

[10sun]

You should step back.

and "defriend" her & go on about your life.

You don't need to be friends on facebook with some white power bullshit person across the nation from you.

I wouldn't say that you have any right to feel offended unless she has specifically singled you out in any way shape or form.

[Jay]

Cut her off and move on. You are trying way to hard to be open minded. While I do appreciate the idea behind being open minded, there are certain things in this world that I will be 100% close minded to. Groups that promote racial exclusion and hate would fall under that category. I'm not even gonna sit there and try to understand why someone would consider me or people like me a contamination. I'd rather let them think what they want to think far far away from me.

Putting myself in your shoes, if you actually care enough about these people to say something, then say something before you go. If it were me, and I cared at all for these people, I'd say to my friend, "Look. I care about you, but I don't care for your extremely hateful and poisonous beliefs. If you ever find yourself at a point in life where you want to leave those things behind you, I'm here for you. Until then, we're not cool."

[Tikker]

you gotta be friends with those you like, and that's it


that being said, I'm super tired of the whole attitude where everyone is allowed to have their ethnic "Clubs" but as soon as a group of whitey's wants to get together it's discrimination

[Jay]

I have no issues with whitey getting together to love whitey.

I have issues with whitey getting together and hating everything that isn't whitey.

[Zanchief]

Is my opinion on this subject really in question? I'd do more the "defriend" people like that if I knew them in real life.

[Tuggan]

I'd be offended if I was a twinkie and my bff on facebook was all 1488in it up and talkin' bout the Aryan cause, blood traitors, etc... I would probably assume they are not my bff anymore and go on merry way.

If she's just some spineless bitch following the path of Mindia cause her husband said so, she's still not worth fretting over.

Just give her the boot and say good riddance.

[Spazz]

WHITE POWER !!!!!!!!!!!!!


Seriously man who needs that shit. What you should do is call your friend out on that shit and see if she can back up her ignorance than stop being buddies .

All i can hear reading this in the back of my mind is dave chappelle yellin white power.

[Harrison]

I have no issues with whitey getting together to love whitey.

I have issues with whitey getting together and hating everything that isn't whitey.

^this.

[Drem]

man 88 means heil hitler? 88 was what the chinese ppl would write in paradise of nameless for "goodnight" because it sounded like "night night" to them or something hahahahah

in other news, fuck that

defriend and move on. that's whack. and i'm white

[Spazz]

man 88 means heil hitler?

I think this is what 1488 means

we must secure the existance of our people and a future for white children. heil hitler.

Tug can correct me if im wrong but i think thats what the 1488 is about. Look up david blane or lane or something along those lines and im sure youll come across 1488. Its seems like its been a life time since the days of punks and skinheads fighting one another if im wrong im sorry.

[brinstar]

i share the opinion that you should respectfully bow out of this person's life. quietly defriend and withdraw from her locus of attention. if she notices and asks, tell her the truth. something like "while you've never offended me directly or intentionally, your newfound set of beliefs are very clear about people like me, and there's no room in my life for a friend like that." if she capitulates and pleads with you, you might be able to save her with strong (emphatic!) argument. but if she gets defensive and tries to turn it around on you, sever completely. as stated before, she has every right to believe in that junk, but you're under no obligation to keep subjecting yourself to it!

[Gypsiyee]

at the end of the day, friends are friends because they share a basic semblance of common interests and bonds.

when those common interests become drastically different, you tend to see friendships drift apart. par for the course life changes including marriage and kids can totally sever friendships because lifestyle connections aren't the same anymore, and this is quite more intense a lifestyle change than a family addition.

embracing and having pride in who you are is one thing, but this isn't simply an exploration of heritage, and it sounds like it's slowly getting more extreme. I'd say someone essentially becoming an active card carrying white supremacist paying homage to Hitler is a pretty black and white issue: friendship over.

[Arlos]

I'm with everyone else, you don't need that in your life. There's no call to be rude or mean to her at this point, but just defriend her and carry on with the rest of your life.


Felt this Demotivational was strangely appropriate as well. (injecting some levity in here)


-Arlos

[Gaazy]

Theres still meetings and shit for that stuff around here. What a bunch of idiots. Just another bunch of people living on hate (eg Mindia sort of). Ill say it again, that must be a miserable way to live

if youre thinking that much about this, you ar eprobably feeling rightly offended. Sever ties~

[Trielelvan]

I really appreciate all the responses. Thank you.

At least I know I'm not crazy for feeling at odds about this.
I don't know where I fit in her life, but it's quite obvious to me that I am, at the least, an afterthought, which is fine. I'm alright with letting it go and separating myself. Like I said, if this is what she needs, I get that. Just not around me... I dealt with this enough growing up. It wasn't fun then, and it still isn't now.

She is the sister of one of my best friends, which means whatever I do has some carry over, but I know that person is understanding about this (and isn't happy with her actions any more than I am).
I may send her a message beforehand to let her know my door is still always open, but I just can't be supportive of this direction she's going. It'd be like shaking hands for ostracizing me from the human race

Tikker:

that being said, I'm super tired of the whole attitude where everyone is allowed to have their ethnic "Clubs" but as soon as a group of whitey's wants to get together it's discrimination

I agree wholeheartedly, but...

I have issues with whitey getting together and hating everything that isn't whitey.

This ^
I just want to make this clear... again: when she joined the PRIDE groups, I gave her two thumbs up.
There is, however, a stark difference between pride and supremacy.
When she joined the "kill everyone that isn't like us" groups, that's when I started questioning things.
I despise neo-nazis and the KKK as much as I despise the Black Panthers, Mexican gangs involved with La Raza, or any group that breeds and inspires hatred and/or genocide. They all deserve a pineapple up the ass in hell.
The line between pride and prejudice is extremely thin because humans are idiots.

Anywho, thank you guys and gals again. Your answers helped a lot.

[Zanchief]

that being said, I'm super tired of the whole attitude where everyone is allowed to have their ethnic "Clubs" but as soon as a group of whitey's wants to get together it's discrimination

Missed this one. You're wrong. There has never been a white pride group that wasn't racist. White Pride doesn't exist because white has no established culture aside from racism and Aryan bullshit. There's Irish pride, Scottish pride, English pride. White Pride? Not happening. If want to belong to such a group that makes you a racist prick, plain and simple.

[Tikker]

you missed my point as usual




just try it as an experiment and watch


try to start up a White males only club


just for the sake of doing it

watch the vitriol roll on

[Zanchief]

They'd be justified, since the only reason to do it would be a) because you're a racist b) you're trying to make a point about how the ruling majority is some how oppressed.

Both would be deserving of my hate.

Men have clubs all the time. It's silly and a bit queer but meh, to each his own. I'd rather be in a club with vaginas.

[Tossica]

Poor whitey.

[Tikker]

They'd be justified

no, they would not


there's no reason to deny a group a club (uless it's an obvious hate club, illegal, etc etc)

[Zanchief]

They'd be justified

no, they would not


there's no reason to deny a group a club (uless it's an obvious hate club, illegal, etc etc)

Well I don't identify White as a group, and the only people who would, would be racists.

[Ganzo]

She's obviously not your friend anymore, so why do you care about being her friend.

Also let her know real Aryan's look like this guy, and are not white

[Spazz]

That guy is so cute and little. I just wanna pat his little head and say simmer down little buddy.

[Gypsiyee]

ha!