Tales from the hood party store edition

[Spazz]

SO i killed a pack of papers and needed to pick more up. Hop in the whip shoot to the store. I walk in to an argument about a flat faygo pop.

This total shackrat with tats on her ears is yellin nigga this pop is flat it says right here on the label nov 2013. Hes like yea it hasnt happened yet, she was like nigga that was 6 months ago. This exchange goes on for a good 5 mins and then things get good.

She says drink it mutha fucka arab party store guy is like I do not drink faygo . Ghetto queen is like well you betta get used to it this shack town not novi nigga. I almost lost it right there.


I am trying so hard not to bust out laughing thinking things cant get any better but they do. Que the entrance of a kat williams sized brotha half the size of this shackbitch. He gets angry that the arab party store guy isnt giving her a free pop and begins to have a tantrum. He knocks over a chip rack and is cussing up a storm. Im still trying not to laugh I know that isnt going to make things better. All OF A SUDDEN a wayne county sheriff walks in. Im like oh hell yea this is going to be awesome. Sure enough guy starts yelling at the cop. Hes getting more and more aggressive cop is getting pissed. Cops pulls his tazer and just drops the dude right there CLICLCLICKCLICK.Dude recovers pretty quickly and proceeds to cry like the leave britney alone guy all the while the white trash bitch that originally started the whole thing is yelling bout gimmie yo badge numba mutha fucka we going sue yo ass

I was so glad when I made it back to my car where I could laugh safely.

[Tikker]

.

[Spazz]

I couldnt have without making myself part of the situation and i have a pos phone. I really wish i had this one on video.

[Trielelvan]

[Ganzo]

Ghetto queen is like well you betta get used to it this shack town not Novi nigga. I almost lost it right there.

On the side note, I live in Novi and we do not drink Faygo here

[Spazz]

This shacktown nigga we drink big k and dr m

[Zanchief]

Am I the only one who doesn't understand this thread?

[Arlos]

Translation for Zanchief:

White Trash Woman (WTW) is in a convenience store, complaining that the bottle of soda, (of the brand "Faygo") which she just bought was flat, so therefore she deserved a free new one, while laughably getting the current date incorrect, stating 11/2013 was 6 months ago, as the bottle had an 11/13 expiration date.

Store Clerk (SC) disagrees. Notes that it is 4/13, so 11/13 is 7 months from now, and hasn't happened yet, and as a result, her bottle of "Faygo" is not even remotely past its expiration date.

WTW bitches louder, longer, and continues her laughable inability to comprehend the intricacies of how the calendar works.

This disagreement continues for several minutes. WTW then insists SC drink the "Faygo" in question. He demurs, stating he doesn't care for that brand.

WTW insists that since this is a White Trash area of town, everyone in it must be as white trash as she, and therefore love the stuff, unlike people from a different district. (which she apparently considers uppity, or the like)

Her African-American boyfriend (AABf), who is approximately half her size, then enters the store and proceeds to have a fit on her behalf. He knocks over store shelves in his puerile attempt at rage.

At this point, a police officer enters the store. AABf then begins ranting and screaming at the newly arrived officer. The police officer endures this for a time, finally gets fed up, and uses his taser on AABf, who drops like a rock. Post-tasing, the AABf begins crying like a 2 year old deprived of ice cream, while WTW begins her own ranting diatribe at the police officer.

Spazz then leaves the establishment, heads to his car, where he enjoys some hearty amusement at the actions of WTW and AABf, and the aftermath of the arrival of the police officer.

That any clearer?


All in all, it is pretty amusing. Stupidity is, apparently, its own reward...

-Arlos

[Spazz]

Holy shit arlos your translation of shackspeak fucking killed me.

WTW insists that since this is a White Trash area of town, everyone in it must be as white trash as she, and therefore love the stuff, unlike people from a different district. (which she apparently considers uppity, or the like)

Best part of the story either way my version or yours.

[araby]

There are no words to describe how this thread makes me feel but I love it. All of it!

[brinstar]

we have a current frontrunner for thread of the year 2013

[Menelvir]

I guess the customer isn't always right, eh?

It makes me wonder if she'd been more civil in her complaint, if the clerk simply would have acquiesced to her request.

[Spazz]

I was under the impression that this has happened with the girl quite a few times.

[Narrock]

OK Spazz, you've earned me taking you off my ignore list. Funny shit!

[Spazz]

Thats how it goes round here man. Nothing new to report other than its warm and the 14 year olds are all out pushing strollers and dressing like whores.


Better get used to it this aint no fuckin novi.

[10sun]

This was a great story btw.