My Complaint About Ugzug

[Eshelon]

People generally have strong views about Ugzug. Before I say anything else, let me remind Ugzug that his stooges are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is Ugzug, who wants nothing less than to bad-mouth worthy causes. He can't relate what he sees to any broader principle. Sure, it sounds paltry. Blame that on churlish slubberdegullions.

You've never heard him announce that he plans to advocate chauvinistic ethics? Well, Ugzug has repeatedly enunciated such a plan, but in his typically convoluted way. He is the type of person that turns up his nose at people like you and me. I guess that's because we haven't the faintest notion about the things that really matter, such as why it would be good for Ugzug to sugarcoat the past and dispense false optimism for the future.

Fortunately, the groundswell of quiet opposition to him is getting less quiet and more organized. Still, the main dissensus between me and Ugzug is that I claim that I must definitely reach out even to my most ostrich-like readers and show them how Ugzug's half-measures command as much respect as the tales in the supermarket tabloids. He, on the other hand, contends that the ideas of "freedom" and "chauvinism" are Siamese twins. Many people are incredulous when I tell them that he intends to dismantle the family unit. "How could Ugzug be so power-drunk?", they ask me. "It doesn't seem possible." Well, it is doubtlessly possible, and now I'll explain exactly how Ugzug plans to do it. But first, you need to realize that once one begins thinking about free speech, about predatory fork-tongued-types who use ostracism and public opinion to prevent the airing of views contrary to their own illaudable beliefs, one realizes that he pompously claims that the Earth is flat. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. There is one final irony to my story. In legal terminology, Ugzug is guilty of suppressio veri or "concealment of truth".




Make your very own complaint letter! Complain!

[DangerPaul]

beating Taxx to the punch on this one

shut the fuck up you stupid mother fucker

ps
I didn't read anything but the title, back off the troll's dick, k

[The Kizzy]

The more you complain the more power he gains

[Martrae]

Ok...I read this as sarcastic...am I wrong?

[Harrison]

That couldnt have been a serious complaint Esh...

It had too much of a sarcastic feeling to it.

Ugzug never bothered me~

[Tikker]

My original goal for this letter was to scrutinize Eshelon's remarks point by point. Unfortunately, Eshelon's focus wanders so wildly that he never actually finishes any of his points. I think you will notice this in the ensuing discussion. There are a number of reasons Eshelon isn't telling us as to why he wants to lower our standard of living. In this letter, I will expose those reasons one-by-one, on the principle that if he can give us all a succinct and infallible argument proving that he can walk on water, I will personally deliver his Nobel Prize for Execrable Rhetoric. In the meantime, I do not appreciate being labeled. No one does. Nevertheless, Eshelon shows a complete lack of foresight. But you knew that already. So let me add that Eshelon wants to quote me out of context. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to argue about his fibs. For the moment, I will concentrate on the fact that I cannot compromise with Eshelon; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him, and with a warning he must truly take to heart: You may have noticed that Eshelon has had it easy all his life. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, Eshelon wants to become an intellectual without the hardship of study and serious thought. Excuse me; that's not entirely correct. What I meant to say is that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of nettlesome spoiled brats and others in Eshelon's amen corner are about to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of irrationalism. I have no reason to doubt that story because I, hardheaded cynic that I am, doubtlessly feel that Eshelon has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. He obviously has none, or he wouldn't develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to grant people the freedom to pursue any endeavor they deem fitting to their skills, talent, and interest.

You shouldn't let Eshelon intimidate you. You shouldn't let him push you around. We're the ones who are right, not Eshelon. Whether or not he should leave helpless citizens afraid in the streets, in their jobs, and even in their homes ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, there is no doubt that he will condition the public to accept violence as normal and desirable sooner or later. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that what I wrote just a moment ago is not the paranoid rambling of a meddlesome, hopeless wacko. It's a fact.

As we don our battle fatigues, let's at least be clear about what we're fighting for: Our war is not about reducing the deficit, not about ending welfare for the rich, and not about the largesse or responsibility of private philanthropy. All we want is for Eshelon's lickspittles not to brandish the word "protobasidiomycetous" (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that it's okay for Eshelon to indulge his every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. I use such language purposefully -- and somewhat sardonically -- to illustrate how if one could get a Ph.D. in Chauvinism, he would be the first in line to have one.

Now, why all this fuss about a few improvident editorials? Simply put, it's because almost every day, he outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's indeed breathtaking to watch him. Once again, Eshelon likes to imply that misoneism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. This is what his commentaries amount to, although, of course, they're daubed over with the viscid slobber of fickle drivel devised by his worshippers and mindlessly multiplied by nasty converts to cameralism. All I can tell you is what matters to me: The law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior.

Need I point out that it would be better for Eshelon to do nothing than to create an intimidating, hostile, or demeaning environment? What I think -- and I'm no specialist -- is that he is like a stray pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Eshelon and a pigeon is that Eshelon intends to bombard me with insults. That's why even when the facts don't fit, Eshelon sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that everyone with a different set of beliefs from his is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. What he doesn't realize is that his ideological colors may have changed over the years. Nevertheless, Eshelon's core principle has remained the same: to tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation. If you don't believe me, then note that my love for people necessitates that I respond to Eshelon's complaints. Yes, I face opposition from Eshelon. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder. That's it for this letter. I hope that typing it was not a complete waste of energy. Unfortunately, I do realize that my words will probably trigger no useful response in the flabby synapses of Eshelon's brain. I just felt obligated to go through the motions because he spews out his vituperative slander from a safe, no-risk forum.

[Mop]

Good a random complaint generator. Now we can all complain w/out any real thought involved.

[Durck]

Tikker must have been getting blown by Tork when he came up with that one.

-Duck

[Harrison]

Ok I seen the link this time so It's funny now

[Langston]

I was like "WTF!"... then I saw the link... then it was funny.

[brinstar]

Now we can all complain w/out any real thought involved.

I GET THE FEELING THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND HERE ALREADY WERE

[The Kizzy]

oh dear lord

[Harrison]

If you look to the left of your 'a" key theres this button there, press it.

[Skraggz]

fucking evil tools! this one time I was using a knife and Ugzug was online...the knife slipped and cut my hand. At the time I thought it was all my fault but after reading this I realise now that Ugzug, as the evil tool master, must have controled the knife to cut me. I was at the time thinking about how lucky i was to live in a in a loving family. Thank god i learned why it really happend!

[Metranon]

This is an open letter, which you are welcome to use as you wish. I want as many people as possible to know that as a dynamic, historical current, cronyism has taken many different forms and has evolved dramatically in a variety of ways. I will start this discussion by arguing that Mr. Kraid Q Brinstar files one grievance after another. Then, I will present evidence that if anything, honest people will admit that when the war against reason is backed by a large cadre of crafty anarchists, the results are even more vapid. Concerned people are not afraid to test the assumptions that underlie Mr. Brinstar's musings. And sensible people know that Mr. Brinstar's circulars were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, Mr. Brinstar pompously claims that anyone who resists him deserves to be crushed. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. Time cannot change Mr. Brinstar's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Mr. Brinstar can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction. Compared to these maladroit profiteers, every pimp is a man of honor. But it goes further than that; he says that his vices are the only true virtues. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not. It's not necessarily the case that Mr. Brinstar's adherents can read some crock of pudibund drivel he once wrote and believe that they've read something really profound. On the contrary, he claims that his drug-induced ravings are Right with a capital R. That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in his attitudes. Then again, Mr. Brinstar is so fork-tongued, I could kiss my freedom goodbye. It's that simple.

I attribute the social and psychological problems of modern society to the fact that no matter what terms are used, it ruffles my feathers that he wants to fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units. More than that, if he is going to dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, I am asking the readers of this letter to be aware that it is hard to ignore the impact of his misconduct on our children, our culture, and our national character. And second, he is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, he throws principle to the wind. To say merely that the first casualty of Mr. Brinstar's half-measures is justice is an understatement. What we have been imparting to Mr. Brinstar -- or what he has been eliciting from us -- is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. He acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling.

Mr. Brinstar wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that it may seem difficult at first to call a spade a spade. It is. But one could truthfully say that "nettlesome", "judgmental", and "combative" seem the most appropriate adjectives to describe Mr. Brinstar's mottos. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that he advertises his strict morality solely to shift attention away from his many vices. If that fact hurts, get over it; it's called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that you don't have to say anything specifically about Mr. Brinstar for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should upbraid him for being so libidinous. While I have no proof that Mr. Brinstar has vanity without pride, voluptuousness without taste, and learning without wisdom, you should still believe me, as Mr. Brinstar labels anyone he doesn't like as "money-grubbing". That might well be a better description of him. He is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of sniffish speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! People who believe that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues need to be worked over with an oak table leg and then sentenced to 20 years of hard labor in order to straighten out their thinking. But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that one of the impetuous remarks we often hear from him is that there should be publicly financed centers of extremism? I once asked Mr. Brinstar that question -- I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that if we take Mr. Brinstar's newsgroup postings to their logical conclusion, we see that before the year is over, Mr. Brinstar will panic irrationally and overreact completely.

Mr. Brinstar, do you feel no shame for what you've done? Every time he utters or writes a statement that supports sesquipedalianism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that he is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. I doubtlessly insist we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because I undoubtedly do not intend this letter to be in any way misinterpreted as a personal attack on Mr. Brinstar, but primarily because I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why Mr. Brinstar favors the idea of a country based on perquisites and privileges. My peers think that to enter into philosophic disputations with such shiftless (or at least, unsavory) manipulators of the public mind is both gruesome and untoward. While this is decidedly true, I contend we must add that Mr. Brinstar insists that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. Would we, as thinking people, believe fast-buck artists who tried to tell us we're all amoral? I say "no."

In the past, it was perfectly clear to everyone with insight and without malice that Mr. Brinstar doesn't believe in the right to free speech, except for people who agree with him. Unfortunately, there were a number of people who seemed to lack this insight at the right time or who, contrary to their better knowledge, contested and denied this truth. It is a statistical certainty that he writes really long and boring letters, just as it is a statistical certainty that we can't stop Mr. Brinstar overnight. It takes time, patience and experience to strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature.

Though many people agree that we must work together against insurrectionism, communism, antiheroism, etc., we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to disabuse Mr. Brinstar of the notion that divine ichor flows through his veins. We were not put here to incite an atmosphere of violence and endangerment toward the good men, women, and children of this state, as Mr. Brinstar might believe. As far as I'm concerned, he coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his insults sound like they're actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary.

It breaks my heart and fills my chest with agonizing pain when I see Mr. Brinstar ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the general drift. As I understand it, evil individuals are acting in concert with other evil individuals for an evil purpose. But there is a further-reaching implication: Mr. Brinstar's conclusions are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And Mr. Brinstar is to blame. It is quite common today to hear people express themselves as follows: "As long as I live and breathe, I will strive to work together towards a shared vision." There is a cost, a cost too high to calculate, for messing with the lives and livelihoods of thousands of people. By the way, saying that last sentence out loud is a nice way to get to the point quickly at a cocktail party.

After being called "blinkered ingrates" a hundred times or so by Mr. Brinstar and his foot soldiers, my friends and I have reached the conclusion that in asserting that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. In order to push a consistent vision that responds to most people's growing fears about wretched insurrectionists, tremendous sacrifices and equally great labors will indubitably be necessary. And that's where we are right now.

He really struck a nerve with me when he said that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. That lie is a painful reminder that doctrinaire harijans are more susceptible to Mr. Brinstar's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that the gloss that Mr. Brinstar's hirelings put on Mr. Brinstar's analects unfortunately does little to anneal discourse with honesty, clear thinking, and a sense of moral good. If you read Mr. Brinstar's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that no one is smart enough to see through Mr. Brinstar's transparent lies. But if you read his writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that his stories about quislingism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. If I were a complete sap, I'd believe Mr. Brinstar's line that the sun rises just for him. Unfortunately for him, I realize that the next time Mr. Brinstar decides to perpetuate the myth that the Universe belongs to him by right, he should think to himself, cui bono? -- who benefits? I recently heard him tell a bunch of people that the majority of dim-witted crybabies are heroes, if not saints. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. If you wonder why I take the stance that I do, it's because Mr. Brinstar maintains that he has a "special" perspective on fascism which carries with it a "special" right to ascribe opinions to me that I don't even hold. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that it's possible that he doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of nativism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we examine the warp and woof of his ruses. Even though the passage of time will make it clear to even the more slow among us that to call him a beast is to defame all quadrupeds, this does not negate the fact that when I say that blaming pugnacious exclusionism on uninformed nobodies is one of his favorite themes, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that those of us who oppose him would rather run than fight. This is a common fallacy held by self-aggrandizing goofballs.

If Mr. Brinstar continues to produce a new generation of scummy sad sacks whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. I cannot believe that he would consider prurient, reprehensible vandals as dysfunctional bloodsuckers. Equally important is the fact that when one examines the ramifications of letting him reduce us to acute penury, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that he has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of his successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Mr. Brinstar's headstrong behavior, but about the way that if Mr. Brinstar had done his homework, he'd know that many people are convinced that it is irresponsible to accept everything at face value. I can't comment on that, but I can say that I definitely dislike Mr. Brinstar. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that Mr. Brinstar spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue he's excited about this week is emotionalism, which says to me that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. He provides none. Mr. Brinstar is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his obiter dicta. The purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how bumptious and slatternly he has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what Mr. Brinstar does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why Mr. Brinstar consistently falls short of telling the whole story or of making a solid point. To cap that off, for those of us who make our living trying to comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior, it is important to consider that as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the kinds of people Mr. Brinstar preys upon. As everyone who has access to reliable information knows, I, hardheaded cynic that I am, don't believe that my bitterness at Mr. Brinstar is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. So when he says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position. The facts are in: We must educate, inform, and nurture our children instead of keeping them ignorant, afraid, and in danger.

[Thon]

you have found the source of zeek's power~

[Tikker]

The best part was the whooshing sound as the humour in the topic went whizzing over Durck's head

[labbats]

Sure, it sounds paltry. Blame that on churlish slubberdegullions.
Complain!

[labbats]

Whoops, I meant to put in the post above that I stopped reading after you tried to sound smart. B-O-R-I-N-G

[Metranon]

and yet another WHOOSH

[labbats]

Ok I seen the link this time so It's funny now

How do I cut and paste "I seen" into the other thread about words we hate?

[labbats]

oh noz I got whooshed.

I guess it just goes to prove the point that I really didn't read past the part I quoted.

[vonkaar]

Can someone make a wooshing sound over my head? I feel left out.

[Jazendar]

This is an open letter, which you are welcome to use as you wish. I want as many people as possible to know that as a dynamic, historical current, cronyism has taken many different forms and has evolved dramatically in a variety of ways. I will start this discussion by arguing that Mr. Kraid Q Brinstar files one grievance after another. Then, I will present evidence that if anything, honest people will admit that when the war against reason is backed by a large cadre of crafty anarchists, the results are even more vapid. Concerned people are not afraid to test the assumptions that underlie Mr. Brinstar's musings. And sensible people know that Mr. Brinstar's circulars were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, Mr. Brinstar pompously claims that anyone who resists him deserves to be crushed. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. Time cannot change Mr. Brinstar's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Mr. Brinstar can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction. Compared to these maladroit profiteers, every pimp is a man of honor. But it goes further than that; he says that his vices are the only true virtues. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that some people deserve to feel safe while others do not. It's not necessarily the case that Mr. Brinstar's adherents can read some crock of pudibund drivel he once wrote and believe that they've read something really profound. On the contrary, he claims that his drug-induced ravings are Right with a capital R. That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in his attitudes. Then again, Mr. Brinstar is so fork-tongued, I could kiss my freedom goodbye. It's that simple.

I attribute the social and psychological problems of modern society to the fact that no matter what terms are used, it ruffles my feathers that he wants to fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units. More than that, if he is going to dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, I am asking the readers of this letter to be aware that it is hard to ignore the impact of his misconduct on our children, our culture, and our national character. And second, he is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, he throws principle to the wind. To say merely that the first casualty of Mr. Brinstar's half-measures is justice is an understatement. What we have been imparting to Mr. Brinstar -- or what he has been eliciting from us -- is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. He acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling.

Mr. Brinstar wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that it may seem difficult at first to call a spade a spade. It is. But one could truthfully say that "nettlesome", "judgmental", and "combative" seem the most appropriate adjectives to describe Mr. Brinstar's mottos. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that he advertises his strict morality solely to shift attention away from his many vices. If that fact hurts, get over it; it's called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that you don't have to say anything specifically about Mr. Brinstar for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should upbraid him for being so libidinous. While I have no proof that Mr. Brinstar has vanity without pride, voluptuousness without taste, and learning without wisdom, you should still believe me, as Mr. Brinstar labels anyone he doesn't like as "money-grubbing". That might well be a better description of him. He is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of sniffish speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! People who believe that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues need to be worked over with an oak table leg and then sentenced to 20 years of hard labor in order to straighten out their thinking. But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that one of the impetuous remarks we often hear from him is that there should be publicly financed centers of extremism? I once asked Mr. Brinstar that question -- I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that if we take Mr. Brinstar's newsgroup postings to their logical conclusion, we see that before the year is over, Mr. Brinstar will panic irrationally and overreact completely.

Mr. Brinstar, do you feel no shame for what you've done? Every time he utters or writes a statement that supports sesquipedalianism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that he is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. I doubtlessly insist we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because I undoubtedly do not intend this letter to be in any way misinterpreted as a personal attack on Mr. Brinstar, but primarily because I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why Mr. Brinstar favors the idea of a country based on perquisites and privileges. My peers think that to enter into philosophic disputations with such shiftless (or at least, unsavory) manipulators of the public mind is both gruesome and untoward. While this is decidedly true, I contend we must add that Mr. Brinstar insists that he is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. Would we, as thinking people, believe fast-buck artists who tried to tell us we're all amoral? I say "no."

In the past, it was perfectly clear to everyone with insight and without malice that Mr. Brinstar doesn't believe in the right to free speech, except for people who agree with him. Unfortunately, there were a number of people who seemed to lack this insight at the right time or who, contrary to their better knowledge, contested and denied this truth. It is a statistical certainty that he writes really long and boring letters, just as it is a statistical certainty that we can't stop Mr. Brinstar overnight. It takes time, patience and experience to strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature.

Though many people agree that we must work together against insurrectionism, communism, antiheroism, etc., we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to disabuse Mr. Brinstar of the notion that divine ichor flows through his veins. We were not put here to incite an atmosphere of violence and endangerment toward the good men, women, and children of this state, as Mr. Brinstar might believe. As far as I'm concerned, he coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his insults sound like they're actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary.

It breaks my heart and fills my chest with agonizing pain when I see Mr. Brinstar ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the general drift. As I understand it, evil individuals are acting in concert with other evil individuals for an evil purpose. But there is a further-reaching implication: Mr. Brinstar's conclusions are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And Mr. Brinstar is to blame. It is quite common today to hear people express themselves as follows: "As long as I live and breathe, I will strive to work together towards a shared vision." There is a cost, a cost too high to calculate, for messing with the lives and livelihoods of thousands of people. By the way, saying that last sentence out loud is a nice way to get to the point quickly at a cocktail party.

After being called "blinkered ingrates" a hundred times or so by Mr. Brinstar and his foot soldiers, my friends and I have reached the conclusion that in asserting that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. In order to push a consistent vision that responds to most people's growing fears about wretched insurrectionists, tremendous sacrifices and equally great labors will indubitably be necessary. And that's where we are right now.

He really struck a nerve with me when he said that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. That lie is a painful reminder that doctrinaire harijans are more susceptible to Mr. Brinstar's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that the gloss that Mr. Brinstar's hirelings put on Mr. Brinstar's analects unfortunately does little to anneal discourse with honesty, clear thinking, and a sense of moral good. If you read Mr. Brinstar's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that no one is smart enough to see through Mr. Brinstar's transparent lies. But if you read his writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that his stories about quislingism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. If I were a complete sap, I'd believe Mr. Brinstar's line that the sun rises just for him. Unfortunately for him, I realize that the next time Mr. Brinstar decides to perpetuate the myth that the Universe belongs to him by right, he should think to himself, cui bono? -- who benefits? I recently heard him tell a bunch of people that the majority of dim-witted crybabies are heroes, if not saints. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. If you wonder why I take the stance that I do, it's because Mr. Brinstar maintains that he has a "special" perspective on fascism which carries with it a "special" right to ascribe opinions to me that I don't even hold. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that it's possible that he doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of nativism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we examine the warp and woof of his ruses. Even though the passage of time will make it clear to even the more slow among us that to call him a beast is to defame all quadrupeds, this does not negate the fact that when I say that blaming pugnacious exclusionism on uninformed nobodies is one of his favorite themes, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that those of us who oppose him would rather run than fight. This is a common fallacy held by self-aggrandizing goofballs.

If Mr. Brinstar continues to produce a new generation of scummy sad sacks whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. I cannot believe that he would consider prurient, reprehensible vandals as dysfunctional bloodsuckers. Equally important is the fact that when one examines the ramifications of letting him reduce us to acute penury, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that he has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of his successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Mr. Brinstar's headstrong behavior, but about the way that if Mr. Brinstar had done his homework, he'd know that many people are convinced that it is irresponsible to accept everything at face value. I can't comment on that, but I can say that I definitely dislike Mr. Brinstar. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that Mr. Brinstar spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue he's excited about this week is emotionalism, which says to me that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. He provides none. Mr. Brinstar is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his obiter dicta. The purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how bumptious and slatternly he has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what Mr. Brinstar does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why Mr. Brinstar consistently falls short of telling the whole story or of making a solid point. To cap that off, for those of us who make our living trying to comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior, it is important to consider that as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the kinds of people Mr. Brinstar preys upon. As everyone who has access to reliable information knows, I, hardheaded cynic that I am, don't believe that my bitterness at Mr. Brinstar is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. So when he says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position. The facts are in: We must educate, inform, and nurture our children instead of keeping them ignorant, afraid, and in danger.

Cliffnotes?

[Thon]

My goal for this letter is to tell Jazendar how wrong he is. I shall do this in the only honest way that I can, which is by simply setting forth those principles that I personally believe in and that I personally observe and honor. In the first place, there is still hope for our society, real hope -- not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of the worst sorts of devious renegades there are, but the hope that makes you eager to build a sane and healthy society free of his destructive influences. His eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And Jazendar's vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that if he kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick?)

Jazendar's homophobic dissertations cause pain and injury to those who don't deserve it. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to expose his magic-bullet explanations for what they really are. Maybe before long, Jazendar will impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior he disapproves of. Unsympathetic predictions aside, this would not be an impossible scenario if his snivelling self-fulfilling prophecies were to gain ascendancy in our society. His expostulations are merely a stalking horse. They mask Jazendar's secret intention to reduce history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events. If you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that when I was younger, I wanted to raise several issues about his pudibund, headstrong modes of thought that are frequently missing from the drivel that masquerades for discourse on this topic. I still want to do that, but now I realize that he likes to cite poll results that "prove" that his opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that Jazendar's legatees often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. When I say that Jazendar's ideals cause nothing but trouble, I consider this to mean that if Jazendar can one day extend Jazendar's 15 minutes of fame to 15 months, then the long descent into night is sure to follow.

In a recent essay, he stated that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication. Since the arguments he made in the rest of his essay are based in part on that assumption, he should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but one of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that he labels anyone he doesn't like as "antisocial". That might well be a better description of Jazendar. Jazendar thinks we want him to impose a particular curriculum, vision of history, and method of pedagogy on our school systems. Excuse me, but maybe you should never forget the three most important facets of his contrivances, namely their catty origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature.

His distasteful rodomontades leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Jazendar's enemies? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that Jazendar is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it's illiterate to embrace diversity; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that Jazendar is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his witticisms. Everybody is probably familiar with the cliche that Jazendar has gone around the bend with his paranoia. Well, there's a lot of truth in that cliche. I am sorry to have to put this so bluntly, but if he can't be reasoned out of his prejudices, he must be laughed out of them. If he can't be argued out of his selfishness, he must be shamed out of it.

Philistinism is dangerous. Jazendar's chauvinistic version of it is doubly so. All I'm trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the morally crippled tendencies that make Jazendar want to utilize legal, above-ground organizing in combination with illegal, underground tactics to control your bank account, your employment, your personal safety, and your mind. Let's understand one fundamental fact: The facts as I see them simply do not support the false, but widely accepted, notion that asinine, unprincipled desperados are more deserving of honor than our nation's war heroes. The only way out of Jazendar's rat maze is to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts. It's that simple.