Why I'm conservative

Post by **Mop** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:13 pm

agreed I am having a fond time at work today.

Langston · Post by **Langston** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:15 pm

Mindia wrote:Man, what was I thinking?

I don't believe you do.

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:17 pm

I only worked for 2 hours at the bank today, it weas nice, I got to sleep in, but I am going to pay at the resturaunt tonight. I am already exhausted.

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:18 pm

vonkaar wrote:
vonkaar wrote:
Mindia wrote:Well, you're partially right at least. They believe in a Bible that has a section of books contained in it called the "Apocrypha" which was put into the Bible by the Catholic church ans was not part of the original Bible. That's why Martin Luther pulled those books out... because he knew that they were bullshit.

He also pulled the book of Revelations out. Who's to say what the "original" Bible contained? Since you accept that 97% of the New Testament was altered by man, why is Luther any more holy than Clemente? Who gets to decide what is holy and what isn't? If you have absolute faith in YOUR Bible, and faith is good enough for YOU to justify the spotty history of the abridgments, why is faith not good enough for a Catholic?

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:18 pm

Vonkaar, have you not leared that certain people we are trying to ignore never answer posts that would put them in a bad light?

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:20 pm

What is black and white and green and black and white?
Two nuns fighting over a sweaty pickle.
What is black and white and grinds up and down, up and down?
A nun churning butter.

What is black and white and screams "YES! YES! YES!"
A nun winning at BINGO.

What is black and white and pink and hard?
A nun stopping, lifting her habit up to her shins, and sratching her ankle bone.

What is black and white and gooey and creamy?
A nun eating a bowl of Tapioca pudding.

What is black and white and makes a wet, sucking sound?
A toothless, elderly nun eating a Communion wafer.

Langston · Post by **Langston** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:21 pm

How do you get a nun pregnant?

You dress her up like an altar boy.

Now, all joking aside. STFU.

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:21 pm

What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual?
The way they say ahhhh-men.

Post by **Mop** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:21 pm

I get it, jokes about other religions... R O F L

thats fucking awesome man where do you come up with that clever shit....

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:23 pm

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:24 pm

vonkaar wrote:
vonkaar wrote:
vonkaar wrote:
Mindia wrote:Well, you're partially right at least. They believe in a Bible that has a section of books contained in it called the "Apocrypha" which was put into the Bible by the Catholic church ans was not part of the original Bible. That's why Martin Luther pulled those books out... because he knew that they were bullshit.

He also pulled the book of Revelations out. Who's to say what the "original" Bible contained? Since you accept that 97% of the New Testament was altered by man, why is Luther any more holy than Clemente? Who gets to decide what is holy and what isn't? If you have absolute faith in YOUR Bible, and faith is good enough for YOU to justify the spotty history of the abridgments, why is faith not good enough for a Catholic?

Did you answer this?

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:25 pm

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"
The next day they went to the mother one at a time. The mother said tot he first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?" and the nun said "I stole a kid's bike." The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water. When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.

The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!" The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water."

The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:25 pm

Post by **Mop** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:26 pm

What do you call a man on death row
A born again

ROFLES

What do you call a man in jail for drug and prostitute charges
a born again, for the second time... or daryl strawberry

What do you call a person that argues religion, not only his own but everyoen elses, on a message board ?

a fucking idiot

ROFLES THESE ARE FUN lets do more, k ?

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:31 pm

vonkaar wrote:
vonkaar wrote:
vonkaar wrote:
vonkaar wrote:
Mindia wrote:Well, you're partially right at least. They believe in a Bible that has a section of books contained in it called the "Apocrypha" which was put into the Bible by the Catholic church ans was not part of the original Bible. That's why Martin Luther pulled those books out... because he knew that they were bullshit.

He also pulled the book of Revelations out. Who's to say what the "original" Bible contained? Since you accept that 97% of the New Testament was altered by man, why is Luther any more holy than Clemente? Who gets to decide what is holy and what isn't? If you have absolute faith in YOUR Bible, and faith is good enough for YOU to justify the spotty history of the abridgments, why is faith not good enough for a Catholic?

Simple. It's called Evangelism. If I saw somebody down at the river holding a rock up in the air saying "You are my God," I'm going to talk to him and spread the good news of the gospel with him and show him how his "rock" god is wrong, according to the Bible. I use the rock example because it reminds me of Catholicism for some reason.

Why do YOU think Martin Luther took those added pages back out of the Bible? Because he likes pulling pages out of books? Could it be he did it out of divine influence and guidance by the Holy Spirit who knew that if the pages were left in that it would be misleading, and not the true living words of God?

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:32 pm

Mop wrote:I get it, jokes about other religions... R O F L

thats fucking awesome man where do you come up with that clever shit....

jokes.com

Post by **Mop** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:33 pm

Mindia wrote:
Mop wrote:I get it, jokes about other religions... R O F L

thats fucking awesome man where do you come up with that clever shit....

jokes.com

seriously, can we assign a color that everyone knows is the sarcasm text ?

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:35 pm

The only hypocricy here is that of atheists spewing forth their bullshit, and then turning around and saying, "If people like Mindia are going to be in heaven, then I'd rather be in hell." Wtf is that all about? Either you believe in God or you don't. Which is it Taxx? And that goes for the rest of you as well.

I have done ZERO percent along the lines of hypocricy.

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:36 pm

Mop wrote:What do you call a man on death row
A born again

ROFLES

What do you call a man in jail for drug and prostitute charges
a born again, for the second time... or daryl strawberry

What do you call a person that argues religion, not only his own but everyoen elses, on a message board ?

a fucking idiot

ROFLES THESE ARE FUN lets do more, k ?

Um, the difference between the jokes I posted and yours, is that mine were actually funny and yours were stupid.

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:36 pm

Mop wrote:
Mindia wrote:
Mop wrote:I get it, jokes about other religions... R O F L

thats fucking awesome man where do you come up with that clever shit....

jokes.com

seriously, can we assign a color that everyone knows is the sarcasm text ?

I knew you were being sarcastic. I just shut you down and moved you forward.

Post by **Mop** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:38 pm

You shut me down?

Rofl just by that statement alone, you take this board to serious.

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:41 pm

I'm a serious person... what can I say?

Post by **Mop** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:42 pm

Are you working or at home while posting on NT and praising baby jesus?

I am asking out of curiosity.

Muglack · Post by **Muglack** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:45 pm

The church Janitor is sweeping the floors in the chruch when the Priest sticks his head out of the confessional and asks him to come over. The Janitor obliges and walks over to see what the priest wants. When he gets there the Priest is obviously feeling some discomfort and when the Janitor asks whats wrong the Priest tells him he really has to go to the bathroom and asks the janitor to cover for him. At first the Janitor refuses not feeling right about it and not knowing what the penance for the sins should be, but the priest tells him that there's a little board inside that says what each of the "major" sins is "worth" so to speak, so reluctantly the janitor agrees.

After abou 2 or 3 minutes the Janitor hears the door open on the otherside and then a woman's voice say, "Forgive me Father but I have sinned", the janitor not quite sure what to say asks what she did that was so bad, and the girl says, "I have my boyfriend a blowjob", the janitor tries to hold back his laughter and looks at the board to try and find "blowjob" to tell the girl how to make it right with God. After a few quick checks he can't see it, so he takes a risk and sticks his head out of the curtain and much to his delight he sees an alter boy that just happens to be passing, and says, "Hey alterboy what does the priest give for a blowjob?", the alterboy stops dead in his tracks, thinks about it for a second and responds, "Bag of chips and a coke"

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:48 pm