America's new secret weapons

[Phlegm]

Dead chihuahuas. From Associated Press:

(AP) A woman angry that her new puppy had died pushed her way into a dog breeder's home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said.

The 33-year-old woman told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.

Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.

The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, citing police.

As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records.

Police said they are considering felony burglary charges and misdemeanor assault charges.

[Narrock]

lol

[Jimmy Durante]

As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof

As much as I love certain breeds of dogs, this part just slayed me

[Donnel]

Oh man, that happened here?

[Donnel]

D TOP - DOG... - Dr.Demento Lyrics - Dead Puppies Lyrics

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun
They don't come when you call
They don't chase squirrels at all
Dead puppies aren't much fun

My puppy died late last fall
He's still rotting in the hall
Dead puppies aren't much fun
Mom says puppy's days are through
She's gonna throw him in the stew
Dead puppies aren't much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies

[Donnel]

My dad sold a house one time... needed alot of work and cleaning up.

He was in the kitchen and found a deflated football.

Turns out it was a chihuaha.

[Darcler]

I'm reminded of the dead parrot sketch.

[Jay]

[Captain Insano]

hahahha... great story. I would tie two dead chihauhauauahauhuyasz together by the tails and use them as puppy-chucks and whoop some serious ass.

[Adivina]

I laughed but the reality of it is, a stupid fucking backyard breeder gave up pups at 4 weeks old (way too early), the dumb bitch that purchased the dog was too stupid to know this, and was buying from a backyard breeder.

They both deserve to be beaten with puppy corpses. (I feel bad for the poor puppy, but I have to admitt yes the mental image made me giggle.)

[Minrott]

Breeders like that is what is going to get the Federal gov't regulating breeding. She should be shot in front of her kids.

[brinstar]

D TOP - DOG... - Dr.Demento Lyrics - Dead Puppies Lyrics

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun
They don't come when you call
They don't chase squirrels at all
Dead puppies aren't much fun

My puppy died late last fall
He's still rotting in the hall
Dead puppies aren't much fun
Mom says puppy's days are through
She's gonna throw him in the stew
Dead puppies aren't much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun

Dead puppies
Dead puppies

Primus - Too Many Puppies


Too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
Too many puppies are trained not to bark.
At the sight of blood that must be spilled so that
We may maintain our oil fields.
Too many puppies
Too many puppies are taught to heel.
Too many puppies are trained to kill.
On the command of men wearing money belts that buy
mistresses sleek animal pelts.
Too many puppies.

Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.
Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and
Placed upon the war machine.
Too many puppies are just like me.
Too many puppies are afraid to see.
The visions of the past brought to life again,
Too many puppies, too many dead men.