Football Fans, please help

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:38 pm

OK Ok Ok There is this dishwasher at work who is all about the Ravens and he talks about them non stop. He found out I was a Browns fan, and now he won't stop giving me shit. All I can think of to say is that Tim Couch is gone so we may have a chance at a good offense this year. Then he says they got Deon Sanders or someone? I don't know. Anyway, I really don't want anyone at work finding out I am a complete idiot when it comes to sports, so someone please help me with this.

Thanks in Advance, and all my love~~

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:47 pm

What are you asking? For things to say to him?

Project DARC · Post by **Project DARC** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:00 pm

tell him fat lot of good it did the ravens on opening day.

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:05 pm

yes things to say so I sound knowledgeable

Malluas · Post by **Malluas** » Thu Sep 16, 2004 11:15 pm

Tell them a fag QB (Garcia, jokingly called a fag) beat the ravens
and soundly 20-3

Minrott · Post by **Minrott** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 12:41 am

Ask him why Jamal Lewis couldn't manage more that 53 yards sunday, and whether or not he'll be out on bail for the next game.

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:47 am

HO HO HO THANKS MINROTT

Post by **Mop** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:58 am

tell him that the ravens looked like crap and would be happy to win 8 games this season, sad note - 8 games may win that division and send them to the play offs where Kyle boeller will get injured and some 3rd string qb that shouldnt even be there will take them to the superbowl - where they will loose to the packers 84 to 0

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 12:34 pm

OK I wrote these down, I am going in a few hours. These were great, but Mop, I am going to replace Packers with Browns, because Im a Browns fan. Oh and Mop check your PM's Im sending you one now, I gotsa favor to ask.

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 1:30 pm

Please don't tell him that you think that the Browns will beat the Ravens in the Super Bowl. That would be self ownage with a magnitude of 11.

They can't both be in the Super Bowl at the same time. He would surely know this.

Tacks · Post by **Tacks** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:05 pm

Except she already left for work and I bet she'll say that=P

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:28 pm

That would please me in a not-so-secret way haha.

Diekan · Post by **Diekan** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 3:46 pm

Just tell him that you think the Jim Kelly, Jerry Rice combo will put you over the top this year. And, then back it up by telling him that you think David Robinson will break records this year as a running back. Also, tell him that with the likes of Sami Kapanen on special teams will really make all the difference. Finally, (this will really fuck him up) tell him that you think Aramis Ramirez will cause more fumbles this year than anyone else in the league. Tell him that and he wont say another word.

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 6:25 pm

That's fo sho

Xaiveir · Post by **Xaiveir** » Fri Sep 17, 2004 6:42 pm

Dont forget to add that Coco Crisp and Matt Lawton are the best 2 corn backs in the league. With both of them on cleveland they will shut down the powerful passing attack Of Baltimore.

Even if it is Cal Ripken Jr. passing to Brooks Robinson..........

Xaiveir Tanthalas :vonk:

Forest Stalker of the Nameless

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 6:46 am

hey Cal Ripken Jr plays for the Orioles, yes? Baseball
I think you guys are making fun of my lack of sports knowledge.

ok this should make you happy Vonk, I said it. I was burning him left and right and the other dishwasher and the line cooks were all like oooohhhh, and then I said it. Now this whole time his head hung with shame and his face was red. I wasn't gonna say the Browns because it was my team, and I wanted to sound smart and not all like OOH MY TEAM IS THE OWNERZZZZZZZZ but I had memorized all this stuff on my way in to work, and I couldnt think of the team name Mop had given me, and I said the Browns would beat you 84-0 and he turns and looks at me, and he says "Now you GOTTA KNOW, that they play in the same division, and WOULD NEVER be in the Superbowl together. So what do you have to say about that?"

So me being the quick thinker that I am, I said "I said Division playoff asshat." And everyone starts roaring and went back to work. So every 20 minutes or so I would be putting my dishes down and Julio would say "So, you betting on the Browns or the Ravens in the Superbowl this year?" or stupid comments like that. I was so embarassed.

Harrison · Post by **Harrison** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 11:52 am

That's my new hahah dance :boots:

<---Replacing

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:15 pm

That's really funny.

Silvestra... next time he says anything just reply with...

JIM BROWN mother fucker. JIM BROWN.

The best he can retort with is Unitas, but that's not really a come-back.

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:17 pm

vonkaar wrote:That's really funny.

Silvestra... next time he says anything just reply with...

JIM BROWN mother fucker. JIM BROWN.

The best he can retort with is Unitas, but that's not really a come-back.

This I can remember easily. Thanks.

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:29 pm

This is he (from "Mars Attacks"), in case you forgot (never knew? :dunno:

) who he was =p.

My pick... as well as many MANY other sport-writers picks... as the greatest player in professional football history, at any position. He spent his whole career at Cleveland and basically did things that should not have been possible in his time. You can read a bit more about him here.

Or... back when ESPN did their top 50 athletes of the 20th century... remember this... top 50 ATHLETES, of ANY sport... they even put a fucking horse in there... they only put Michael Jordon, Muhammad Ali and Babe Ruth above Jim Brown. That's how big this guy is.
You can read a great report about him...
here.
If you don't remember anything about his stats... just remember that ESPN could only think of 3 athletes who were bigger and more important to sports... over 100 years than Jim Brown. That's fucking huge.

So.. your team fucking owns his team in the 'history' category.

You could also mention your fans... the infamous 'Dawg Pound' is quite easily the loudest and most 'feared' (by the players) group of fans in the league. To show you how big this group is... look at their reserved section at the stadium:
http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/stadium/ ... eating.php

Yup, the whole 'right' SIDE of the stadium is intended for this group of fans. They are the loudest... most violent... rabid fans in the league. 8 years ago, the Ravens couldn't fill their stadium if they sold half-price tickets (it happened).

Minrott · Post by **Minrott** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:54 pm

^ agreed.

DESX · Post by **DESX** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 5:51 pm

vonkaar wrote:This is "Mars Attacks"), in case you forgot the greatest movie ever made.

I agree vonk :vonk:

Project DARC · Post by **Project DARC** » Sat Sep 18, 2004 11:54 pm

vonkaar wrote:You could also mention your fans... the infamous 'Dawg Pound' is quite easily the loudest and most 'feared' (by the players) group of fans in the league. To show you how big this group is... look at their reserved section at the stadium:
http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/stadium/ ... eating.php

Yup, the whole 'right' SIDE of the stadium is intended for this group of fans. They are the loudest... most violent... rabid fans in the league. 8 years ago, the Ravens couldn't fill their stadium if they sold half-price tickets (it happened).

we arent allowed to have plastic bottles anymore

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:39 am

I was at that game, LOL

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:29 pm

UPDATE

I pulled the Jim Brown trump card, and he said Jim Brown sucked compared to Ray Lewis

I also bragged about the Dawg Pound, and he said it was okay, the Ravens were always recruiting fans