So this guy at work

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 12:39 am

Finds out recently that he is a Dad. No big deal right? His ex girlfriend cheated on him, and she left him for another man, almost 12 years ago.They move to San Angelo, get married and have a daughter together. Jump ahead to about 7 months ago, and they get into a huge fight. She tells the husband that their 11 yr old daughter is probably not his, and he leaves. So the guy at work, gets a visit from teh Sheriffs department, and has to drive down to take a paternity test. It's his. He has had no clue for the last 11 years. He pays child support now, and makes it down about twice a month to spend the weekend with his daughter. Great, to me this means he is stepping up and is taking responsibilty. The thing is, now his ex is suing him for 11 years of back child support. Is this not like double dipping? I mean the man who believed he was the father has already supported her for 11 years (and then to just up and cut her out of his life, asshole) now she wants a big chunk payment. Is this even legal?

vonkaar · Post by **vonkaar** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 12:59 am

She'll probably win... especially in Texas.

Zanchief · Post by **Zanchief** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 7:14 am

Wow, she should die of cancer. The kind of cancer Canadians don't have a cure for.

Tikker · Post by **Tikker** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 7:50 am

there's no way she should be able to win

shit, there's no way he should have to pay now, unless he wants to
she married another man after leaving him, that usually severs all spousal responsibility

Maeya · Post by **Maeya** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 7:57 am

Man, I *hate* it when women are greedy bitches about stuff like that. While I can see child support being a useful and appropriate policy in some cases, more and more often I just see it being abused so the mom can buy her fucking new SUV while the father has to decide which bills will be unpaid that month. Grrr child support.

Darcler · Post by **Darcler** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:23 am

vonkaar wrote:She'll probably win... especially in Texas.

It's true

Phlegm · Post by **Phlegm** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 12:06 pm

Tikker wrote:there's no way she should be able to win

shit, there's no way he should have to pay now, unless he wants to
she married another man after leaving him, that usually severs all spousal responsibility

She is not asking for spousal support. She is asking for child support and she probably will get it too.

Evermore · Post by **Evermore** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 12:29 pm

Tikker wrote:there's no way she should be able to win

shit, there's no way he should have to pay now, unless he wants to
she married another man after leaving him, that usually severs all spousal responsibility

doesnt end child support obligations thou

Tikker · Post by **Tikker** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 1:15 pm

Evermore wrote:
Tikker wrote:there's no way she should be able to win

shit, there's no way he should have to pay now, unless he wants to
she married another man after leaving him, that usually severs all spousal responsibility

doesnt end child support obligations thou

hrm

I think it does here, but I'm not 100% sure

Evermore · Post by **Evermore** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 1:27 pm

its 18 in the US unless child goes to college. then its 25

Dimuza · Post by **Dimuza** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:34 pm

wow. what a bitch

Narrock · Post by **Narrock** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:35 pm

Dimuza wrote:wow. what a bitch

Phlegm · Post by **Phlegm** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 3:04 pm

He should sue for custody of his daughter.

araby · Post by **araby** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 3:07 pm

Phlegm wrote:He should sue for custody of his daughter.

I did this, and it backfired on me and they went for the highest amount of child support I could possibly pay (460/month) and said, "we'll resume custodial rights at another date" which was clever of my child's father's attorney, because it meant that the little money I had saved to spend on the attorney in order for this to happen was spent-add these court fees to it and it =no more court dates while this chick has no money.

it's an unjust system with holes all in it.

Phlegm · Post by **Phlegm** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 3:10 pm

So, what happened at the custody hearing? Did you win?

araby · Post by **araby** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 3:12 pm

Phlegm wrote:So, what happened at the custody hearing? Did you win?

no. we had joint custody at the time. I was asking for more of that time to be with me, and instead of addressing the custodial issue, they changed it to "temporary full custody" with the father, giving me every other weekend and two days every other week, and added that I pay child support through the courts at 460/month and that wasn't including the attorney's fees, making it an additional 150 for a year.

Jesus · Post by **Jesus** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 5:48 pm

Kizzy, who's name is on the birth certificate and who has been taking care of the child up until this point?

It has been established and accepted that the "stepfather" was in fact accepted as the true father for the past 11 years. The "stepfather" also accepted this child as his own for the past 11 years.

If my memory serves, the "guy you work with" is probably not liable.

-Adam

The Kizzy · Post by **The Kizzy** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 10:12 pm

The other guys name was. I told him about a guy in Texas who had 4 kids and him and his wife got divorced. He finds out later, that three of hte four kids were not his, but he still has to pay child support on them because the whore...er..I mean mother refused to name the fatehr, and someone has to support the kids. Anyone from Texas remember this story?

Dimuza · Post by **Dimuza** » Sat Jan 20, 2007 9:27 am

I remember that story, but not the name of the guy. what stuck in my memory was just how fucked up that whole scenario was

kinghooter00 · Post by **kinghooter00** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 10:35 am

damn, it all sounds pretty fucked up to me.

runamonk · Post by **runamonk** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:36 pm

Tikker wrote:there's no way she should be able to win

shit, there's no way he should have to pay now, unless he wants to
she married another man after leaving him, that usually severs all spousal responsibility

Sadly this is totally 100% wrong. Especially in places like California or Washington. In washington, she wouldn't have had to sue him to get the money. It's really sad and has gotten out of hand. =(

Diekan · Post by **Diekan** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:41 pm

The Kizzy wrote:Finds out recently that he is a Dad. No big deal right? His ex girlfriend cheated on him, and she left him for another man, almost 12 years ago.They move to San Angelo, get married and have a daughter together. Jump ahead to about 7 months ago, and they get into a huge fight. She tells the husband that their 11 yr old daughter is probably not his, and he leaves. So the guy at work, gets a visit from teh Sheriffs department, and has to drive down to take a paternity test. It's his. He has had no clue for the last 11 years. He pays child support now, and makes it down about twice a month to spend the weekend with his daughter. Great, to me this means he is stepping up and is taking responsibilty. The thing is, now his ex is suing him for 11 years of back child support. Is this not like double dipping? I mean the man who believed he was the father has already supported her for 11 years (and then to just up and cut her out of his life, asshole) now she wants a big chunk payment. Is this even legal?

This reminds me of another thread.... anyone else wanna ask why it's a "good idea" to adopt a kid that isn't yours?

Tikker · Post by **Tikker** » Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:46 pm

araby wrote:
Phlegm wrote:So, what happened at the custody hearing? Did you win?

no. we had joint custody at the time. I was asking for more of that time to be with me, and instead of addressing the custodial issue, they changed it to "temporary full custody" with the father, giving me every other weekend and two days every other week, and added that I pay child support through the courts at 460/month and that wasn't including the attorney's fees, making it an additional 150 for a year.

I hate to be a dick, and this isn't aimed at you Araby, but this shit has been going against the father for so long, it's kinda nice to see the father get custody once in a while

araby · Post by **araby** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:04 pm

Tikker wrote:
araby wrote:
Phlegm wrote:So, what happened at the custody hearing? Did you win?

no. we had joint custody at the time. I was asking for more of that time to be with me, and instead of addressing the custodial issue, they changed it to "temporary full custody" with the father, giving me every other weekend and two days every other week, and added that I pay child support through the courts at 460/month and that wasn't including the attorney's fees, making it an additional 150 for a year.

I hate to be a dick, and this isn't aimed at you Araby, but this shit has been going against the father for so long, it's kinda nice to see the father get custody once in a while

it's okay, I feel the same way, trust me I am not ignorant to the kind of parenting that shouldn't be allowed I am certainly against using custody as a reward, or award, for one of the parents, especially based on marital conduct.

the system, and I've posted about it before, is not just, and does not in any way seem to have the child's best interest in mind, though it claims to do that.

in my particular situation, the one I mentioned above, I was ambushed and then made to be a fool. Having spent all the money I had saved for an attorney, and after being told that not only were they not going to grant me more visiting rights at the time, but that they would increase my payments and go back to the custodial issue at a later date (or when I could raise more money-whichever came first) I was pretty much sobbing the entire time, and when I finally got myself to walk out of the court room, my child's father, attorneys and the judge were talking about whichever sports game was on tv the night before, and laughing about it. I'll never forget that.

Dimuza · Post by **Dimuza** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:38 pm

If you keep talking like that I'm pretty sure you'll get kicked out of the union, Araby

You're supposed to say something like "Pigs pigs, men are pigs, and all children should be with their mother..."

namelesstavern.net

So this guy at work

So this guy at work

Re: So this guy at work